i cry alot. i cry for no reason. i cry when everything is going good and i should be happy.. i cry.. im always sad. i feel like im alone in this world, when i know im not. i have an amazing bf, and i dont treat him like the king he should be, bcuz of how unhappy i am.. my mother doesnt think anything is wrong with me, and says im stupid if i go to the doctor to get "happy pills" bcuz she thinks only crazy people need medicine to make them feel normal and not sad/depressed all the time.. i have cut myself alot, i have hung myself a few times.. everytime im about to die, someone finds me and i get saved.. i am currently slowly killing myself with alcohol, cigs, and ALOMST anything else i can get my hands on, i say almost bcuz i dont do hard core drugs, but i have tryed alot of things, who knows what all i have done realy.. all i know is im not happy and this trying to kill myself thing hasnt worked and im not gonna stick a gun to my head cuz personaly i wanna slowly die... in pain, and blood. idk why.
You are a very sensitive person, that is why you feel this way. Since you have so much compassion, try to help people in need, little by little, you will feel good and accomplished, also people will be very grateful to you for being there for them. Wishing you all the best and God bless you.
ok thats stupid, why would i go out and help other people when im the one on here begging people for help and no one on here even cares!!!
just like everyone else in my life, nobody cares... why did i think you all people would be any diffrent
Ok Shavonn,
Please hang on a minute and give me a chance to try and help you not feel so alone. I just replied to another post from you yesterday and I see so many similarities to what alot of us here deal or have dealt with. I don't believe taking "happy" pills is bad and really it's nobodies business but yours. I heard a doctor say once that the people who think anti-depressants are bullshit, usually are the ones that should eat em like tic tacs!! ROFL So please hang on because people here really do care.
Sometimes it take a while to be "Seen" here because there are ALOT of support groups here and many, many people.
Please keep talking. Tell me whatever you would like. I'm here.
Suzee
Shavonn, Marcie mentioned helping others & you seem to be unaware that your already helping others here by sharing your story & reaching out, that lets others know THEIR not alone, so thank you for that & thank you for being here w/us.
Suzee made a very good point about meds & would be a brave decision to copy this & find someone that can lead you in the right direction for some much needed relief & beginning to start dealing w/the issues. Ask your mom to make a doctor appointment (an MD) & then start telling them how your feeling & show them a copy of this post & then they can help you & mom make a better decision that you may need some help in wading through this.
Keep talking to us, WE ARE LISTENING to you.
All my strengths.
April
thank you! but you dont know my mother.. if i told her anything like what i say on here she would have me locked up in a crazy ward b4 i could finish the story.. when i was 12 i tryed to tell her that i was bisexual, she called up her preacher! they were looking at pamflits for gay camps! they wanted to send me off to get "cured"! they said it was a faise i was going threw to get atention, ive tryed to talk to her so many times about how i feel, and she thinks im makeing it up so i can be on meds, she thinks im a drug addict, and im not! im not on any medicine.. idk anymore, i try so hard to prove her wrong ya know? i got a good job, a car, i just got my own place, idk what else im sapose to do.. idk what i have done to be treated so bad, ive had my car stolen, ive been raped, ive been beatin and left for dead.. ive been threw it all and still my mother doesnt care, she thinks i make all this up, she thought i beat myself up! idk what else to say right now, sorry.
Well honey parents dont always make the best choices in how they treat/raise their children by being a good role model to follow (even if they think they are) & what it does to their kids emotionally well being & from what you describe you've come along way from such horrible happenings & yet are still seeking a nurturing, loving, unconditional, supportive relationship w/your mother as you should have & so deserve in your life. Why parents get in such denial about what their creating/contributing is beyond me, its like they get stuck/blocked in their mind or where raised that way themselves & dont really know how to UNSTICK themselves or find another way. I'm still glad your talking it out on this site & again in time that is pulling something positive out of all of it for YOU.
Big (((HUG))) honey
Love April (mom of 2 boys 18 & 26)
thank you so much! i realy liked what you had to say and it was sturn yet possitive, and true.
Shavonn
hey if u go to the doctors to get meds ur far from crazy ur making urself better and trying to live life without hurting urself. something has to be telling u its not ur time if someone keeps finding u. i have tryed to kill myself a few times the last time i ended up in icu for a week and i was scread have tubes down my mouth. i dont know u but but its not ur time to go. u need help we are here to help u throught this. ur family dont want to think their child has a problem. im on meds and i feel better then i was. im not down so much i dont cry as much and its k to get help and get back on the leg.
thank you heather! i recently went to the doctor for a cold, ended up having a cancer scare, and now i am changing my life completly, im quiting smoking and eating healthy, i am currently taking meds for bipolar and schizophrinia, i take life one day at a time, and i have good daysand bad days, but everyone on this site has chaged my life thank you!