I discovered I had bpd after my boyfriend left me a few mont

I discovered I had bpd after my boyfriend left me a few months ago, which he was right to. I would go crazy anytime he didn't pick up the phone when he was out with his friends, to my defense it was only after he would ignore my calls I always wanted him to be with me. but we got back together a month later and the past 2 months have been great, I didn't have anything that triggered me to flip out. But then last night he went to go hang out with his friend and told me he'd only be gone an hour, and I restrained from texting him the whole time, but 2 hours passed and he still wasn't home so I texted him to see what was up, and he said he was still there hanging out and was leaving soon, I was irritated at that point but still refrained from letting that consume me until an hour later he told me he was headed home, and some time passed and he still wasn't back, so I called and he ignored my calls, I texted he ignored me. I lost it. I blew up his phone for an hour. I was pacing my house about to go where he was to be like wtf why would you do this but I did refrain from doing that. I kicked a whole in the wall. And now I feel like he's going to think that's me. But it's not, I have been working on my control so hard and just one slip up, and now I'm freaking that he is going to leave me. I am starting therapy this week which I hope will help me learn better control over the things that trigger me but in the mean time I don't know what to do. How do I show him that I can overcome this? What can I do to help calm me down once something has itriggered me to act like a crazy person?

I think that it is reasonable to ask him a timeframe for coming home, let him know you worry, that you trust him, but you worry. Next time agree that if he is coming home late to call you and discuss a new arrival time. Hugs!

Thank you(: I'm new to this, and I've been trying to figure out what's reasonable to get mad about and what's not, and even when it's reasonable, I take it way too far and can't calm myself once i get started. So I guess that's what I'm trying to do now. Thank you!

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@Moma_@Moma_York seriously thank you so much, that is exactly what I meant, and my foot is fine, I have thin walls, I didn’t even kick it that hard, and I felt so stupid after the fact that it happened and I was calm. And I know there are things that can cause him to be late, but he was ignoring me on purpose because he knows inwas having one of these episodes, which just fuels my fire. But we talked about it when he got back and I’m trying to help him understand what I going through and that I am doing things to help myself manage my emotions better. I really just feel silly that all of this is about a guy, I mean it’s more than that, but that’s what mostly triggers me.