I don't even know how to feel right now . I have been planning a trip after my exams with my so called friends and I was so excited for it that I had decided to pay for everything . The transport the hotels the staying everything . And suddenly all my friends decide to leave me . Someone says they have to teach tlschool work to their cuxns . Some say they are shIf ting . Some ignore me . When they need me I am their . When they need ao me thing I am their and today I needed one friend only one to l accompany me and nobody is there. They need money i helo them . They need someone to fund theit dates theres me . They need someone to pay their debts there is me . They need someone to fix their electronical stuff there is me . Now i need someone to give me company and there is nobody . Just great . Seriously just f*** me and f*** my life for having such great friends .
I wish I could say something to make you feel better about people. I guess you have to decide not to be overly giving to people. I know it seems like something friends should do, but getting money involved with friends is a disaster waiting to happen. I hope things work out for you.
@charm27 what can I do I am built that way. I tend to fall into all those emotional traps .
I don't think that buying friends works. I tried it long ago as a teen, and it backfired horribly. If I were you, I'd try to make new friends...and NOT buy them things. For some reason, people of both sexes seem to have contempt for sugar daddies.
Try doing some new things. It's easy to make friends when you have a shared interest. So why not take an interesting adult education course, or check Meetup for some fun new thing to try?
@InMyDreams yeah I guess it’s time to forget them Like those 10 other friends who used me and left
@jerry_md: if you can sort of rewind and get in touch with the 'you' when you are giving and helping and doing all those things that your so called 'friends' took advantage of...think about the image that you are giving away to others (even if you are honestly trying to be a friend, and help)..you may be unintentionally telling people that there are no lines drawn in the sand - lines that let people know YOU are to be respected and and you have integrity. I understand how you like to help others - I too, really like doing that - not sure if it was in my upbringing, or if it is just my nature..but THAT doesn't matter. What matters is that I have to be careful how my willingness is being portrayed. Sometimes when I am too eager or too easily at the dispense of friends and those around me, I give the impression that I don't have needs myself - and that all that is important to me is to please others. That in turn can translate to a false message: "I can be bought - just let me do what you need, because I in turn really NEED you to ACCEPT me, and SEE ME as worthy." I think this stems from my childhood. My own mom was one who I had to tip toe around and try to gain acceptance from, by pleasing her, and doing everything in hopes that she'd be in a good mood, that she'd SEE ME AS GOOD, and now in my adult life, I am doing the same thing with her still. She sees me as a failure...so I end up doing things at her beck and call, in hopes that I will seem worthy to her. But I never gain her respect. Because she sees me still as someone who will drop anything and do what she wants. I am slowly re training myself and allowing myself to say NO mom. I can't. I won't. I DON"T WANT TO. the most important is I DON"T WANT TO. Because I am a human being and I deserve the right to not WANT TO from time to time. Regardless of my reasons.
She has stepped back some...in the beginning, she'd rant and holler. But when she saw that doesn't work - she stepped back and slowly she is coming around to the fact that I demand respect.
@MS2014 you know I have grown up in a situation where my pleasure has never mattered . People have always decided how I should walk how I should talk . What I should wear . What I dhould do . And now that when somebody tells me to please myself instead of others it seems quite weird .