I don't even know what to say. I don't want to believe that

I don't even know what to say. I don't want to believe that my cutting is a problem, but maybe it is. My friend is worried about me and one of the conditions of her becoming my friend again was joining a cutting support group. So it was either this or find a support group. Considering how messed up I am, the last thing I wanted to do was go out in public. So here I am.

I'm here if you ever need to talk.. I'll support you so you can message me whenever you want.

Thank you so much. <3 I really appreciate that. I don't even know what I need right now, honestly.

@AwkwardandConfused Well I’m still here for you, and of course any time you need or want to talk or just want a distraction I am here

@Mr.z Thank you. <3 I appreciate the support.

I have been a cutter and I know what it is to think well its not that big a deal, but it is because cutting is you either trying to feel something thru the numbness or cutting so that you can deal with the physical pain because you have no way to deal with the emotional pain, so yeah cutting is a problem because it is symptomatic of other mental problems. I don't know what they are, but I will be here to talk to whenever you need me to be, taking that first step and asking for help (regardless of why you did it) is really the hardest part, now you have people who will support you and help you all they can.

@dark_and_twisty71 Thanks. <3 I think I really needed to hear that. For me, cutting is a way to deal with emotional pain. I get upset and it’s a way to get out my frustration.

Yeah, it was the same for me, I would get upset and it's like everything would just get stuck in my chest and I would hurt and be confused and be angry and be so unhappy, and cutting helped with that, it gave me a focus, a real physical pain i could concentrate on and that would help me calm enough to deal with he rest.

@dark_and_twisty71 That seems to be exactly what I do. I kind of started because I could. Does that sound weird? I knew cutting was a thing that people did and I knew it wasn’t necessarily healthy, but I still went through with it.

I wouldn't say that sounds weird, I think we all start because we can even when we know that, no it isn't healithy, but I think for me I was more afraid of what I'd do if I didn't cut than cutting being unhealthy . I was really out of control emotionally when I came to the point of having to cut.

@dark_and_twisty71 I didn’t mean that I did it because it was unhealthy. I just meant that I did it out of curiosity and because I needed an outlet. Some of it was anger and some of it was pain.