I don't even know what to write...i feel nothing, yet everything...i want everything to go away. I want to want to live. Does that make sense? I don't know how to make myself better...take more pills? go to therapy? That doesn't "fix" me. i'm broken...i'm a broken person. how many medications will it take to make me normal? how many hospitalizations? therapy sessions? I AM BROKEN! I can't see away out of this. I have homework, i haven't eaten, i've cut...I'm sorry. This is ridiculous..i know i am so lucky. blessed. I have everything i need..yet i feel empty. okay..i'm done.
My dear Rebekah,
I'm so sorry. All I can say is hang in there--this will pass! Hold on to hope, and keep forging onward. Keep getting help--you're worth it! You can do this, and you are LOVED; whatever you do, don't give up!
i so no how you feel. where all you want to do is curl up in a ball in the middle of a floor and lay there till everything just stops. believe me. im in your position too. except when i go through these moments, i have anxiety attacks and cant control myself. i go into hyserics and idraw so much attention to myself. and it makes me feel worse.and just knowing that your blessed is nice, but knowing the reason your so blesssed is whatas key. why do you think your blessed? im blessed with a family, a home, a man who loves me, pets, and friends. all of that is the reason i go on, and your blessings should help you through anything. i pray for you. dont give up, we are always here for you
Hi Rebekah
Hang on in there. I hope your days will get easier. You deserve the treatment that you are receivng, and you deserve to get better. Don't give up, you will get there, promise.
How are you feeling today?
xx
i definitly know where you are coming from alot of times i don't even know what to say
but please keep fighting you will move past this point it will take work but from people ive met who are recovered they say it is so so worth it please keep writing and working
i understand how your mind feels broken but just take it slowly i know this is extremly difficult cause this i is where im at but you are not broken you are a good person who deserves life love and happiness
best wishes
Hey dearest.
I know how you feel. I feel broken too. I don't feel like any of this money spent on treatment will fix me. BUT I CANT GIVE UP!!! And neither can you !!! <3 You will find a way to the light...even in my darkest times..I found a way out..Trust me, we can fight, TOGETHER!!
Feel better dear!
And I agree with everyone..DONT GIVE UP!!!
<3 Take care
I can appreciate what you are saying. The first meds my psychiatrist put me on caused a full blown manic episode that caused me to go into debt $35,000.00. It took many years to pay that off! The next drugs he put me on made me flat line with my emotions. I never cried about anything but I rarely laughed. I thought that was the way life had to be. Then I listened to the advice of people that were not experts in psychiatry including a MD that said I wasn't bipolar. I went off the depakote that made me feel so bad but stayed on antidepressant and ambien...bad idea. I finally went into a psychosis and mania and ended up in psych ward. I found another psychiatrist and got on new meds which are mood stabilizers which work really well for me. It took awhile to get here so I guess what I am trying to say is we all have our stories of chaos and brokeness. When I was going through these times I didn't know if I would ever feel "normal" again or if this was my new reality. You will get through this. Don't give up on your meds, listen to the experts. If the meds one doctor gives you don't work but you aren't given a choice of changing then try another doctor. Keep posting and letting us know how you are doing!
hi everyone...thanks for the feedback. I'm doing okay. not great, but i'm making it. I'm still hurting myself a lot...so that's no good, but it's getting me through my days. I don't know...i really don't know what to think anymore. Anyway..you guys...I am doing a little better. thank you all.
hey Rebekah
hope you are going a little better even since your last post.
you are so strong for hanging in there... keep hanging in there, its so worth it.. theres always a light at the end of the tunnel.
for me, after been loaded up on meds and all that crap nothing helped me except Jesus. it says in the bible that he came to mend the broken hearted.. and thats wat hes doing for me now and he so offers that to you too..
if you ever need anyone to talk to just message me of reply on here.