I don't feel good today. I'm don't feel supported by friends

I don't feel good today. I'm don't feel supported by friends. I feel like I don't have them and I don't understand what's wrong with me, why my friendships never last. I try so hard but in the end they all leave. I feel like I'm too much. I can't eat, again. I haven't showered in days. I'm doing my best not to self harm but I'm so freakin sad that I feel like I'm exploding and I don't know how to deal with it.

Have you ever looked down a different path towards something better in the past?

@flesjes-sometimes because we tend to think of all the pain we are in, we forget that others have their own lives and problems and stuff to deal with, they cannot hold your hand 24 hours a day, you are extremely lucky to have friends that are trying to understand you. There is nothing wrong with you honey, except that maybe you are a little to intense, and paranoid. I've been there, it sucks. Not eating won't kill you for 3 weeks, but you should try to eat something anyway. I know you are hurting inside, but don't hurt yourself even more, i was a cutter too, then someone asked me what was the point of cutting when your sould hurts AND your body whereever you cut it and you may or may not need stitches, he said it seemed a whole lot of pointless to him and the important than to deal with is the trigger for the pain and the pain istelf, not to set yourself up for more pain...kinda made a lot of sense explained that way. I know you're sad, I know what hopeless feels like and it truly is heartbreaking, i'm lucky, I have a dog that loves me unconditionally, and I can hold on to her when I cry and I get the sad out and I'm not alone with it. She is a dachsun named Sassy and she is not only a pet, she is a Companion dog....you should look into that, it might help you. Blessed Be and may love find you.

Blujonny, I haven't really, I guess. They all lead to the same.
Dark_and_twisty71, thank you. I just can't cope. I have a dog who's my best friend but honestly, it's not enough sometimes. I know they try to understand me but nonetheless, they have abandoned me and let me down despite me explaining them how it makes me feel. The truth is; they just don't understand or they just don't care. And I don't know which is worse.

Posting this was a brave act. Talk to us no matter how hard it is. Message me if you want so we can talk about how all this started :)