I don't have schizophrenia, but I am married to someone who

I don't have schizophrenia, but I am married to someone who is diagnosed with this. He refuses therapy and medicine. I was not told he had this until a year into marriage. I am finding it hard to differentiate what is part of his condition and control my emotions when he gets into different phases. I've never had anything to do with this before and I blame myself as well for not getting more information once I knew. Is there anyone else with a partner diagnosed with this?

Is this a deal breaker for you? Also, were there no signs that concerned you during the time you dated/early marriage?

@CKBlossom Not a deal breaker at all, he told me 5 years ago by the way, we’ve been married for 6 years already. Yes, there were always signs. However he told me he was bipolar. At one point I made a joke about cats being schizophrenic and he got very offended telling me he was diagnosed with this. Then he insisted that he told me years ago and he really didn’t. I felt relief when he told me, as it all made more sense. However I find it difficult now, been with him for over a decade and I don’t know how to set boundaries and if I can understand what is part of the condition and how to shield myself from being too emotional, that would be helpful. I’m currently also looking for a psychologist face to face. I have to do this secretly as I know this would upset him as he actually has a diagnosis and opt to not get help, but I need to talk to someone professional.