I dont know how to put this but when i was younger my oldest brother raped me when my family found out he got a big betting at the time i was only four.then when i was about ten my middle brother raped me twice. well I forgot about it till about a year ago. i am 18 now, i have never had a boyfriend and a feared when i do i will be so sacred of him that he will leave me. but that is not the real reason i am telling you about this for the past few weeks i have been having night mares about what they did to me. i see them everyday and i just want to yell at them. i told my mom how i felt and all she said was that they did not mean to do that. and that they forgot about it. well the thing is it is easy for guys to forget what they did to a girl. but for the girl it is hard for them to forget and i just dont know if i could ever trust a guy again. everytime i guy shakes my hand i just want to pull away. i have this one guy friend and i am scared of him even. I just dont know what to do.
Hi there, and welcome to SG. I'm sorry you had to go through that. You had no control of what happened. Our memories stay with us, both good and bad. I understand your fear, but try not to put all men in one box. Learn to trust your inner voice intuition, it is your guide. If it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. Trust needs to be earned, but you also have to give people a chance to earn it. Every person is different. For me, in order to move past my fear of things, I had to do them over and over, and put myself in uncomfortable situations, until it wasn't scary anymore. I know it is a hard thing to do, but it is also a hard thing to live in fear all the time. Hugs
I dont know if i could ever trust a guy again. i dont know what to do about it i just want to cry my eyes out.