I don't know if anyone is going to take the time to read this because it will probably be long and that's okay, because I need to get this out. My entire childhood/teen years I was abused and passed around from house to house and I turned to bad influences and drugs/alcohol. I attempted suicide 3 times, one was almost successful I was in the ICU for 2 weeks. All because my step father molested me and my mom choose not to believe me. So there's that. Now during all that mess I was a lot of other medical issues going on, yet my family always said it was for attention and I was dramatic nothing's wrong with me. Now I'm going to jump forward to now, just being diagnosed with a rare connective tissue disorder on top of my mental illnesses. (BPD anxiety and bipolar II.) Now here's a little back ground, my fiancé and I met when I was 14, we moved in together the day I turned 18 and legally could. I had my son at 19, and my daughter at 22. I am now 23 and just diagnosed with Elhers Danlos Syndrome type III. We found this out because it is provoked and significantly worsened with pregnancy. 2 pregnancies later and I am legally disabled and can barely function with chronic pain, dislocations of multiple joints multiple times a day and so much more. Possible big risky sugeries in the near future. We now had to move in with family for help with the kids. (Luckily we are separated because my fiancés parents will be in the in law apartment) Basically my whole point here is I feel like I'm drowning. 4 years ago I was a normal healthy (yes mentally ill) young adult... And now, holding my daughter for more then a few minutes causes my arm to hurt and not function for up to 2 days. So not only am I trying to manage my mental stability, but I'm trying to manage my health that's crashing. I'm trying to tell myself a year from now hopefully I'll be on the right medication combo (anti psychotics) and my specialists will have me on a treatment plan... I hope... Thanks for reading if you did. I just couldn't keep it inside any longer. I'm trying to accept this new life with an open mind and heart but it's so hard when my mind is telling me give up. Sorry for all the back and forth and babbling, it probably didn't make much sense.
It made a lot of sense to me and I want to welcome you to SG. I have never heard of Elhers Danlos Syndrome. I can certainly understand how you would feel like you are drowning. I also hear hope in your voice, and there is hope for you to get better - both mentally and with the Syndrome. You have specialists. That's good. They will help you. I hope you are also in psychotherapy to help you deal with accepting this new life. We are here for you and I am so glad you let us know about what you are going through. We are here to support one another. *hugs*
I am in therapy I have been basically since I was 13. I am trying to build a team of specialists because not a lot of people do know about the diagnosis, I know I didn't before they told me and had lots of testing. There is hope... And I am hopeful, it's just hard carrying from day to day. I really appreciate the reply, it meant a lot to hear that. *hugs*
@Mysterious I’m glad you joined the group. hugs and looking forward to hearing more from you.
I read everything. I can't relate to the physical disability but it sounds horrible. I would look into every option you can find. Talk to your doctor, talk to another and get a second opinion. Look into disability benefits and how you would budget your money. Just take everything at a slow and steady pace and don't overwhelm yourself. At 23 you should be exploring your freedom, I'm sorry this has happened.
I may not have much advice to offer because I haven't been through what you have. But I want to at least tell you I empathize as best as I can with your situation. I am so sorry life has been so difficult for you. It's truly not fair. I can tell you are strong though. I hope you can find the best treatment possible and enjoy a fulfilling future. I have heard of that syndrome, and I've heard it can be challenging. I've heard it can be manageable too though. I really wish you the best in your future. And if I can offer nothing else, I at least want you to know you are being heard, thought of, and prayed for. And know you can always find someone to talk to here. God bless you. Hugs <3
I suffer from SLE ( lupus ) on top of all my mental health issues and it's tough.. I was diagnosed with lupus 15 years ago when no medical professional knew much about the condition ( I live in England) . It's very difficult when you have both physical and mental illnesses because no matter what .. we are always ill.. we all know the physical pain mental illnesses cause so we have a double whammy.. mental health causes physical pain and vice a verses .. it's a constant roller coaster we never seem to get of..
It's very important to take extra care of yourself and not to beat yourself up about things.. I've leant to pace myself and not to burn myself out ... you will get good days when You're feeling ok.. but from experience don't cram everything in just because you can ... trust me you'll pay for it, the rest of the week... Try to be kind to yourself and listen to your body .. good luck
@Maria40m I think that’s great advice even for those who don’t have physical health issues. This semester I’m really trying to be conscious of self care and listening to my body, because when my body suffers my mind is the next thing to follow.
You've truly been given many challenges and then some. I am super impressed with how cohesive you DO sound! The other thing that comes across is how well you have looked after your needs. Telling someone about the abuse, getting out when you could, getting help for the mental struggles, being strong enough to have and CARE FOR your children, getting help now that you need it... following your physical health to try to improve it... coming here... WOW. You are strong! From everything I know about you just from what you've written... you've got this covered. It isn't easy now, it may not be easy in the future BUT you are a problem solver and an overcomer. So glad you are opening up about this because keeping it all inside to be strong for your family or whatever is probably your biggest risk for falling. Hoping your days have blessings <3
Wow that's a lot to cope with. I can't even imagine how that must feel, just dealing with BPD on its own is difficult. I think it's amazing that you're here and still fighting. <3