I dont know what I need. I wouldnt say I'm depressed,as I'm

I dont know what I need. I wouldnt say I'm depressed,as I'm not as bad as I used to be. I'm recovering from self harm. Ive made promises to stop,its been over a year since it was a continuous addiction. But I'll admit ive slipped and I feel horrible for the promises ive broken. I havent told anyone though. Some days I just go back to how I used to be,how I used to feel and theres nothing I can do to help it,I just have to wait it out. I guess I just need someone to vent to who understands. I dont know how to help myself anymore and I'm scared I'll go down my old path again. I need something for those numb days.

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Im sorry,I didnt see until now that I needed to post a trigger warning . I hope this is visible to anyone who may read

Hey there its ok. What's going on? I'm very familiar with the addiction and breaking the promise

I dont know exactly. Theres school and I just found out an old friend of mine betrayed me in a horrible way. I used to self harm due to abuse by my stepfather and bullying. Even though I'm out of that situation I'm just down some days. It can last a day to a couple weeks. I hate reverting back to how I used to be. Nothing helps anymore,not music,writing,etc. All I want is to go back to my blade sometimes. I want to get better and I want to not feel alone.

@321… Well I can tell you thanks to this place your not alone. Everything you just said about nothing helping all u want is that blade I was struggling with it the other night. People on here helped me thru it. What’s goin on with school if you don’t mind me asking?

I'm a highschool junior dually enrolled in college classes with the hopes of graduating with my associates degree. My college classes are really demanding and stressful and I'm not sure if I can handle it but I really want this associates. Its the least of my problems but its just a lot to handle along with my job.

@321… I don’t blame you. I culd never handle the pressure of college courses. I almost dropped out my senior year of highschool cuz it was to much. I give you much props for doing it tho n sticking to it

Thank you :) And I really do hope I can find help in and also help others here. Its easier for me to open up when I know I'm helping someone else as well.

@321… Me too! Lol