I don't know what is going on with me but I feel bi and it's not bothering me . Makes me wonder do I have ocd . I was trying to think of a guy In a sexual way but girls are poppin up and Iam like whatever Iam tired of fighting and now I feel like I want to keep thinking about a girl sexually . But I'm not freaking out , I'm like I must like it like whatever . I knew in the beginning of this I kept saying I don't want to like girls I don't want to be gay and I don't want to be bi , but now I don't know . Iam so tired
1 Heart
I had the same problem and it was at the end of my first HOCD cycle, I was just so tired and annoyed by the thoughts so I was the same way - whatever, I have other stuff to do. I remember being scared of dark when I was a kid and imagining scary creatures watching me while I sleep. One of the ways of dealing with that fear was to say to it - whatever, can you just do what you came to do and leave, I have school tomorrow. And it worked. I think HOCD is different, it feels like it's always one step ahead of you and it's constantly evolving. The backdoor spikes, I didn't have them at first, now I get them all the time. Because I'm used to the level of anxiety and 'old HOCD' thoughts don't bother me that much anymore. So my HOCD came up with the new ones. Sometimes I just feel general anxiety, even without HOCD thoughts. The core of the HOCD is denial, the thought you might be in denial. When everything else fails to cause you anxiety, HOCD will pull this old trick on you and I think that is what is happening to a lot of us. But these are just my thoughts. Anyone else?
Well I know when I am doing well , It pulls me back by my past , the fact Iam not thinking about it becaused Iearned to accept thought and gronial response and urges but now Iam like do I even have ocd or am Iam just bi . But like you said the main part of ocd is are we in denial . I learned that when I answer one question it finds another question . Also I just learned that when you are looking through the lens of hocd everything is flipped and has a fake meaning
we are all going to reach a point to which our bodies cannot handle saying no to the thoughts we will come to the point where our brains will agree with the thoughts due to how much pain it brings us thats what happened to me when i first had hocd it lasted about 2-4 weeks at the end all my brain could say is your gay your gay deal with it and then boom after that i went back to being normal liking girls again not worrying about it etc
1 Heart
Iam at that point right now I like I feel like Iam liking this girl and Iam like what can I do about this nothing , so I just say whatever . This happened with my last ocd