I don't know what is going on with me

I don’t know what i am doing in my life. I married an unknown man and now i have realized it after sometime that he doesn’t care about me at all. He just shows off in front of everyone that he cares and loves me but in actual what i feel is that when i am happy he just wants to make me sad and angry. He never likes it whenever i am happy. And when i am sad he tries to be nice but at the same time he makes me realize that i am an emotional fool who always keeps crying over things. He intends to make feel crazy and mad. I feel sick mentally physically and alone. I don’t know what should i do. Whatever i will say to him he always will be doing opposite of that. I gave it a lot thought that i may be thinking like this; negative but no! I am not just saying it. I have been enduring it until now. All he cares about is his praise from people. He is talkative nice to people but for me i am just a mere person. His small habits make me feel worthless in his life.

I don’t want to forget this night, today i had severe headache and been suffering from it since yesterday, when i came home from work i told him, that i feel sick and don’t feel well he sat annoyed and after that we talked about basement. My work is quite far where we are living now and i shared with him that since we are looking for a basement we should look near to my workplace so that i could reach home early take some rest and do study french. He didn’t say no directly, he went with me to see some of the basements but he didn’t show interest in any and was not talking properly with people. In contrast on the second day he started looking in the opposite direction. And i told him there is one in the middle he resisted to go with him even knowing that i am sick. I went with him, he didn’t talk to me properly. I took shower went to my bed with teary eyes. He came up started fighting that why do i do it? Why don’t i talk to him. I said i don’t do anything i just feel sick and wang to sleep. I was trying to sleep while he was awake, he started making noises from nose and put his phone on ring like whenever he was receiving nay message i could hear it. He did it deliberately he never comes to room so early when i told him to stop he started fighting saying you always do it. I am realizing that i am destroying myself just because of his behavior that he never changes. I am very sleepy now, have to go to the work in the morning but can’t sleep because of all this shit. I don’t want to live with such person

Hello and welcome to support groups… I’m sorry you are going through this. But it looks like you are dealing with a narc…

1 Heart

Hello @k.gur, Welcome to SG :slight_smile:
Whatever is going on between you, it clearly ain’t good! If you can’t work it out with him some kind of separation may well be the next thing to try. I hope you can find a reasonable way through this.

Best of luck!