I don't know what to say really! I have been regular over he

I don't know what to say really! I have been regular over here back in the day (2014) lot of stuff happened. I finally graduated after a long struggle and got to US to pursue my hither education. I did graduate here on time. Yet I don't find myself doing my best in anything that I do. I feel like I have some deep emotional trauma that needs to be fixed. I thought my life will be great once this happens or that happens....truth is it sucks. I feel disappointed that I do not do my best. I feel depressed over the fact that I cannot form real human connection with my Porn and masturbation addiction. Why isnt there a support group for porn addiction? it is as dangerous as a drug addiction, even more because P is freely available than drugs. Its an endless cycle of feeling like ****, not having the energy to do my best and feeling like **** as a result. Over the last 60 days I have spent more money on Porn and related stuff it was mind blowing when I did some accounting today. I feel like I have hit my rock bottom....if I don't get my **** together now, I will loose it forever, I am ****ing 28 for crying out loud. I see all my friends and family members making progress yet I feel depressed thinking I could have been better, but i didn't. Porn is a real addiction and it ruins lives of many young people. I don't think I'll ever get rid of that habit. Unless some miracle happens. Because I am a good person I do not want to cause harm to any 1. I want to do my best and help others. Has any 1 recovered from Porn and masturbation addiction? or know some one who has struggled with it???
Thank you for reading. I just wanted to share what I am feeling.

First and foremost, let me congratulate you on accomplishing completion of your higher education.

You mentioned feeling like had some "deep emotional trauma that needs to be fixed." Have you ever thought about going to therapy to get to the bottom of it? I think that it might help you out.

You also mentioned being disappointed by not doing your best. You also brought up porn and masturbation addiction. I realize that it's a very difficult addiction. If there's a sex addiction group, you would probably have the best results there.

I noticed that you compared yourself to others frequently. As someone who is speaking from experience, that alone will drive you into the ground. You're always going to find someone who has it better or is doing something better than you. Focus on yourself and trying your best. Don't worry about everyone else and what they are doing.

I'm happy that you felt comfortable enough to honestly share. I hope that you able to get to the bottom of what's going on, (if anything happened), deal with your addiction in a healthy manner, and get to a spot where you feel better about yourself. I wish you nothing but the best.

2 Hearts

@Justwanttobeloved hey jwtbl! Thank you! its so true, I am aware of that yet I still compare myself to others, i will try to reduce it gradually. I think i need to develop my self esteem to stop comparing myself to others. Therapy isn’t an option that’s not something I can afford right now, but i can totally see myself going to one in the future. I will try to focus on myself. I appreciate your support, jwtbl! Thank you! I see that you haven’t made any posts recently. coincidentally 1236 has a special meaning to me because its my bestie’s id number :slight_smile: