I don't see how you can say you love someone but you cheat o

I don't see how you can say you love someone but you cheat on them and completely destroy them. Ruin how they look at other people, how they feel about themselves. Look them in the eye and lie through your teeth then say you love them. If I love someone, I take care of them and protect their heart. I don't get it. People suck.

12 Hearts

I feel for you. I am going thru the same thing right now

1 Heart

Its survival for the ws

1 Heart

Its true, it doesnt make sense, but there all sorts of things we do to people we love that don't make sense. How many family members -who supposedly love each other - also treat each other worse than perfect strangers? Words and actions can be so unkind towards those we love. Infidelity happens not so much because a wayward doesn't love their spouse,but rather because waywards are seeking to fulfill some need or void. Most waywards do not want to hurt their spouse anymore than a speeding driver wants to get in a car accident. If they wanted to hurt their spouse, they wouldn't keep their infidelity a secret. Its complicated, but in many instances it is possible to love someone and do something that risks hurting that same someone.

3 Hearts

@faithfulless very well said

all I know is I'm glad I'm not the one that has to carry the burden for the rest of my life of destroying our family

3 Hearts

@LivingNightmare
Are you divorcing then?
These posts bring me backward. I feel all deflated.

@ LivingNightmare I think a lot of people who do that...lie and cheat and act like it doesn't mean anything and don't care that they hurt you...are Narcissists. Not everyone of course. I realize there are people who cheat and feel terrible about it and try to repair the damage. But the cheaters who don't care are different. Those are the people who make excuses, or blame it on their spouse, don't sincerely apologize. They only care about their own feelings, not anyone else's.

1 Heart

I was not meaning to bring you backward. Just venting here so I don't say these things to him. Trying to stay positive. Some days are really hard.

1 Heart

@LivingNightmare
No I am not saying you should not have posted. Vent away. My issues are mine. I have been where you are.

I would love to know all the answers to the questions you wrote in your post too... The best one I've got is that the cheating spouse is beyond a narcissist and too self absorbed to care about us who are left in the dirt to decay with our ruined lives. Even though time will pass and we will eventually heal, our lives and perspectives have been changed/damaged forever. How is this fair?

1 Heart

@Sabian737
It’s not fair. Life is not fair. We have a choice: either lick our wounds and accept the lesson, or dwell on the pain forever. I say this knowing it sounds cavalier, but I am certainly aware of the difficulties. I’ve been recovering for a long time, and my husband is certainly doing the right things. Yet part of me knows it will never be enough.

What the betrayed went through is not fair and we feel how could the WS get away with it. Karma has a bullet with the WS's name on it and they will get theirs sooner or later. Just live your life and trust God will make everything right.

1 Heart

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