I feel a spark forming inside of me, a spark to speak out an

I feel a spark forming inside of me, a spark to speak out and spread awareness. I'm ready to do it but, i feel like before going out into the world to tell my story... i should start with my mom. I got raped 3 years ago and I never told anyone except some friends. How do you tell a mother that someone hurt their daughter? What if she goes to the police? It's too late to go to the police and it'll just revive old dirt with him again (it was my ex. i reported the abuse to the cops and causes a lot of problems since he obviously denied it). Please give me some advice, some motivation, or share the story of telling a parent. Thank you

1 Heart

I know how you feel, I got raped 12 years ago, and I never told anyone about it. my mom found me crying one day and I decide to tell her everything, she started crying and said that she was going to kill that guy, I didn't know what to do, then my dad came in and he saw us, my mom told him everything. I was embarrassed, I didn't want them to know because my dad's brother was the one who raped me. He believed me and he also asked me to go to the police and press charges but I said no. He understood me, so did my mom. The reason why I didn't press any charges against him was because he has a family now, my cousins (5 and 9) and aunt and I love them, I don't want them to grow up knowing that their dad is in jail because of me. It was too late.
My advice is: Tell your mom, you'll realize how different it is when some one who loves you is there for you. It's not too late. Also, you should really considerate talking to the police again. I don't know how old you are. I'm 19, I got raped when I was 7 and I didn't even know what rape was, that's why it took me so long to speak out. You know what happened, speak for those who can't. good luck!

@gala59 oh and feel free to message me if you wanna talk. :slight_smile:

Hi Andy, I think a talk like that is easier when you know ahead of time what you do feel ok talking about and what (if anything) is off limits. It sounds like you have a good relationship with your mum and talking to her will help you heal. It might help to pick a place that makes you feel safe and make sure you guys have some time undisturbed. Having a friend on stand by for after the conversation, might be good too. In any case, healing from Rape in an isolated, non communicative way is very unlikely and difficult. You are very brave to take this next step and I hope that you heal with the support of your friends and family.