I feel beaten; withered. My brain feels as though it's in sl

I feel beaten; withered. My brain feels as though it's in slow motion; unreactive. I have allowed this ED to destroy me, destroy my life. My whole body is tiiiirrrrrrreeeeeeddddddd. If I could sleep I would sleep for a thousand years.....
I don't feel anything when I b/p. I don't feel anything when I restrict. I don't feel anything. The feeling of failure is overwhelming.
Dead tired.

You need to change your lifestyle. Switch over to eating fruits and vegetables(no additions) and only drink water. Basically go for a biological diet. You see, only BAD food makes you fat. The thing is, for millions of years humans were always hungry, and this is the only time that there has been TOO much food. So our bodies simply cannot handle it, we are constantly pushed by our bodies to eat, and that's what we do, and that's when we become fat, whenever we try to lose, our bodies push again to continue eating.

So you cannot really STOP your hunger, but you CAN choose what type of food you put in your mouth to satisfy your hungry. It's THE loophole to stop the vicious yoyo cycle.

People become fat because they eat trash, unnatural created food have energy, salt and sugar levels in them beyond the absurd. They are a great way to end starvation, but no good for maintaining a healthy balance.

So trash all your bad food, grab only good food, if you are in temptation to buy trash food, let someone else do the groceries for you to only buy vegetables and fruits. Only drink water, because soda's contain too much energy that you simply don't need. So the main advice is, stop fighting the hunger, but start feeding the hunger with vegetables and fruits. That way you'll NEVER become fat, no matter how many fruits and vegetables you'll eat, it'll simply be healthy for you.

On top of that exercise. Keep your body in shape by swimming.

Once you start losing weight, you'll stop hating yourself, and then you don't need to do self harm anymore.

Just remember not to go under the BMI health index, you want to be healthy, not a skeleton.