I feel crap.all the time.I'm of sound mind I think.why can't I be allowed to end my life if I don't like it no more.I reality the only thing that stops me from suicide is knowing my wife and kids will not get the insurance payout. I've been constantly fighting myself for over 3 years to stop from having an accident at work.I'd be done by now only I keep chickening out.I'm probably about 3 months away from losing another job thanks to my inability to stop stealing.I'm for a family holiday to usa next month and constantly think about running off when I get there.
Would be wise to talk w/wife, so at least she can make a sounder decision, let her know your you'd like to run off, at least let her prepare somewhat, am sure she feels the same way some days (as we all do). Are you in counseling if affordable? Talk w/AnaLeigh here, she's moderator of suicide group, she knows what your feeling, I hope you stay w/us, helps having others that can relate. Welcome here too.
I know my wife will be ok.she is strong.this could lose the house.I went on some government site today and there is so many examples on it that relate to how I feel/am that it's nearly a joke to read.I've researched so much this past few days on all sorts of things that make me feel sick in the stomach.
@Alphonsus - take it slow & easy, your doing the best you can right now, I admire you for that regardless. At least you care enough to research, thats a good sign. Again, I do hope you stay w/us & keep talking.