I feel good

Well, I skipped lunch again and it felt good, but I was dissapointed in myself. I'm never happy with myself. Either I eat too much, or not enough. I'm always trying to please someone.. Ana, my parents, my therapist. I wonder if i'm ever going to feel like i'm getting help for me and not because I don't want to go to inpatient. I guess that's what therapy is for though right?

leelee,

i know the feeling of seeming to always be trying to please someone. it's tough when we try to please ana (mostly mia in my case) and the ones who care about us. it's lying to everyone. but mostly just hurts in the end. try talking to your therapist about what can help you best right now. there are out-patient programs that can help if you need more help but don't need to be inpatient. there are options depending on where you live depends on which are best for you.

Scarlette

Thanks so much for the support. You're totally right about trying to please everyone. I feel I need to please my family, but at the same time, I need to be thion to please ana. It's crazy. I'm going to a 5 day retreat this december and i'm hoping that will help. I hope you're doing okay. I'll be more than happy to talk to you anytime. I don't know how old you are, but i'm 13.

being stuck with any ED is pure ambivalenz, no two thoughts and emotions match and it's plainly exhausting to always try and do the right thing, especially when it feels you're doing it for someone else. but i guess it partly feels like that because we have totally lost ourselves in the process so we don't know anymore what we actually want or what would really be good for us.

when was the last time you did think about yourself (and i don't mean the bits that Ed is telling you!)? are you able to think about what YOU want and what's good for YOU?

xx
maedi

I agree with the others in the fact that you need to stop trying to please others and look out for number one, which of course, is you.

Yeah, trying to please everyone is tough, and it can never truly be accomplished. It's important to do what's right for YOU. And while I realize how hard it is to do this for yourself sometimes, you've got to keep going. Sometimes you need to do it for other people (family, friends... even a pet in my case!) until you can finally get to a place where you're doing it for you. Is there anyone you can do it for until then?

Thank you all for your comments. They were a lot of help!