I feel I will never get better. It seems as though that ev

I feel I will never get better.
It seems as though that even though I’ve tried everything I just will never fell safe, loved, welcomed or worthy. I feel tainted. I’m having more and more flashbacks, nightmares and panic attacks. I’m lost and don’t know what else to do. I long for a family and I so badly wanted my 2 angel babies, but they were not in the plan I suppose. I saw my abuser the other day and I think that’s what triggered me. It’s just unfair that he gets to live his life with no regrets or pain of losing a child, in which he was a part of killing. (By kicking and hitting my stomach repeatedly until I miscarried). Anyways, I really need someone to talk to who knows anything about how I feel. My two best friends don’t understand, which is good but I often feel anger towards them because of jealousy. I know that’s selfish. If anyone feels like it, please email me at [email protected]. If not, please comment something you think will help. Thank you all in advance.

3 Hearts

I emailed you, but I also want to say that a lot of times (in my religion) the spirit of those babies comes back to you when you're ready, whether that's through having another baby or something/someone else. Even if they don't or if you don't believe in that, they'll always be with you no matter what and I've found it helpful to get something that represents that. For example, I have a ring that has my baby's name and what would've been their birthstone on it and I wear it every day. Etsy is a great place to find something like this<3

1 Heart

My heart goes out to you hun. This is so heartbreaking. What are a few things that you tried towards healing if you dont mind me asking? What things do you feel may help for you?

1 Heart

@iCanBeStrong1 I’m in therapy but I can’t bring my to tell them anything. I have a team and they keep switching people. I have abandonment issues, so the change makes me scared and not want to talk to anyone. I’ve talked to my best friends, but they don’t really know what to say or how to help so at this point I’m at a loss of what could help. I did just meet someone who has been through similar experiences and I’ve connected with her. I think knowing that someone else feels my pain and wants to us to be there each out and support one another will be beneficial.