feeling suicidal..... :/ im feeling this way because i was raped, and i hate seeing his face inside my mind. Im tired of being scared to walk down a hallway with guys in it. Im tired of being scared, and im just tired of everything. i wanna die so badly. But i wanna try just one last time, to live my life. Somebody please give me some advice on what to do. I have bi-polar disorder as well. So that might be why. Because sometimes im realllly happy and other times im out of this world in despair. PLEASE HELP!
I'm so sorry honey, please talk about it with all of us here. Are you currently seeing someone that can help guide you through what your feeling?
All my strengths.
April
p.s. I love what you wrote on your profile about yourself excellant wisdom & insight.
Hey girl I just want to share a few words with you to help you get rid of that suicidal feeling. I have spent several years considering the same thing (and I'm only 18)but after one of my friends (since third grade) shot himself a few months before we graduated from high school I realized that suicide is just NOT an option & I want you to see that and stop even considering it. My friend was a great person who brought light to a lot of lives but he was struggling with some emotional issues and a drug problem. I am from a small town and the day after he died so did the whole town. School was miserable. Everyone walked around somberly and cried through there classes. His funeral was absolute torture; every time I hear the songs from his funeral its like my heart is being crushed. You might think that this is the easy way out but I can promise you it only causes an insane amount of sorrow for those who know and love you; and it is not at ALL the same as if you were to die naturally or by accident... the fact that he chose to die makes it impossible to accept and move on from... I think about him everyday & wish I could have helped him (btw it was a year last month). Also usually when one suicide happens more follow. I do know that one of his family members did the same soon after and I don't even know where his parents are they just moved away from everyone(of course they would not live in the home he died in). I could go on and on about this because I am so passionate about preventing suicide because its incredibly devastating (and no offense but incredibly selfish) but I will just say it is not the way to go you will only be remembered as a pitiful person who left her pain behind as a burden to those who love her... things can and will get better but only with strength and hope. Please take my advice and completely erase those ideas from your mind. forever. you have a long beautiful life ahead of you. :)
Brianna~ I was raped at 12 years old and thats how my virginity was taken. I told no one and did not report it. Instead I simply decided not to say no to another man to avoid another chance of it happening again. I was in my 20's when i started to speak of it. I got help anywhere I could. I was also suicidal and had 3 failed attempts. What I learned and my advice to you is to first get professional help a/s/a/p. Work through it. Get past the fear and you will realize that you are a woman who deserves NOTHING short of the best! Take this horrible event and turn it into a way of helping others! Use the voice you have and share your story with others!!! You never know when you might end up saving a life by showing or sharing how you survived and what it was you lived through. You could end up inspiring a girl who is about to end her life or allow her rape to destroy her life. What you lived through just might be enough to leave that next victim believing that they can survive it too. I hope I was able to help. Im so sorry that this happened to you! Try to grow from it and let it make you a strong woman! Just for seeking answers here already show a tremendous amount of strength and tells me you want to get better. Let me know if you need to talk. I will do what I can.