I feel like I genuinely might lose my mind, I had a big patch where I was coping and managing to forget a lot of the time, it's all getting worse again now, I'm paranoid and insecure and miserable, I don't want to be here and I don't want to be anywhere else, I'm literally stuck all my thoughts and feelings conflict with each other, I've literally never felt more worthless in my life everyone I've ever loved has cheated on me or lied to me or left me, how can you achieve a sense of self worth and happiness when you have a track record like mine.
I used to feel like this but today i started thinking may be i am paranoid. i am sure that not everyone i know was bad. it had to be a paranoia in me that made me see them this way to isolate me more and more let me be boxed in.