So since I've started seeing my therapist I can remember having like two monumental weeks in which I felt so strong and great. I didn't binge or purge or any of that. I've been able to make it a whole week in the past without bingeing. But now, I feel like I'm right back where I started. I feel like my head has been in the toilet for the past three weeks or more. I'm wondering why I was making such good progress only to fall right back down. I know it's a process but even so my bingeing was down to about 2 times per week as opposed to every single day, more than once a day. I don't know what to do anymore. I want to be better so badly but I can't even picture a life without an eating disorder.
"Slip ups" are part of the roller coaster of ED. I think the main thing to focus on and be proud of here is that you've significantlly cut back on the frequency of your b/p'ing. Thats something to be proud of!
I suppose your right. I just get so discouraged and lately it's been like an every day occurrence. It just scares me because it makes me feel like any progress I make will be temporary.
I'm not quite sure that he's helping me to the fullest potential. We've gone over a few coping skills and he recommended the book Overcoming Binge Eating by Christopher Fairburn, which I've read and we've been kind of working on together. But I just don't know.
they really do have to be specifically trained in EDs to really help you out. i am having the same issue from my therapist. sigh. i adore her to death but i swear i know more about helping EDs than she does. she told me she knew some of EDs but it wasnt her specific training. now i dont know what to do cause she is helping me out so much in other areas of my life but my body image/ED. and that i need help with. sigh.
so it is important to have the right help. i wonder myself if my therapist can help me with this one. i would hate to lose her--she is a doll. i have to wait and see if she can help me on this.
consider what you can do in terms of the kind of help YOU NEED.
Yeah, I really really like my therapist a lot. I've been with him since August. I'm seeing him tomorrow. Maybe I can tell him about how I'm feeling and ask him if he thinks there's anything we could do to correct the issue. Maybe tell him that I really want to buckle down and tackle the ED.
Today was good though. So far I haven't b/p. First day in about three. I've been under so much stress and sadness lately so I know that has a lot to do with it.
Have you ever heard of something called EFT (a meridian energy therapy)? This nutritionist I've been seeing on and off told me about it and it sounds really interesting.
http://www.eftuniverse.com/images/pdf_files/eftquickstart.pdf
hmmm no i havent heard of it--i have heard of EMR is it? i think that is it--or maybe that is what you are talking about? is it where they do that thing with your eyes or soemthing like that? i think that is called EMR...
what is EFT?
i think it is important to really tell our therapists what we are feeling/ going through --that is what they are there for , right? and if we feel we arent getting something from them i guess we need to speak up on it.
im happy you had a good bad with B/P that is great!
Me too, I feel like maybe I found an outlet here for when I'm feeling like I need to binge. Something that will maybe focus my attention elsewhere. I'm so happy I found this website.
EFT is more or less the idea that different energy pathways in our body's get blocked and by tapping on certain points we can clear them and make negative feelings go away. The link I posted is the to the website that describes the process in detail.
i definitely think you should tell your therapist that you're currently struggling more with your ED again and that you want to really work on that for the moment. with EDs there is so many thing to think about but when symptoms become more actue again you need to attack it right there and then.
this site tuly is a blessing, a great outlet in any way. so use it whenever you can/need, were always here to listen and support!
Thank so much Maedi. And yeah, I'm going to talk to him about it tomorrow morning when I see him. I was also wondering about frequency of therapy sessions .. maybe I should be going more than once a week. It's just tough because it's expensive and it's not my only bill while it is one of the most important ones ...
yeah, money always is the problem, it sucks!!
maybe try it twice a week if possible and see if you benefit from it or if it's about the same.
or if you stick with the one session ask him to give you homework/tasks to get you through the week, to keep you focused.
I'm going to see what I can do. I saw him today though. I was so happy when I got to therapy this morning. I had a really good day yesterday and so far so good today.
I binged today .. but no purge, I know I should be happy about that but you know I'm not. Feel like the biggest girl in the world right now. F U ED! F U!
exactly FU!!!! you don't feel good about it because that is what ED expects. to not purge is soooooooooo amazing! i've never managed that and i really admir you for your strength. you're doing so well. just read back to your first post on here and check out your progress :-)
I set standards for myself so high. It's like even if I don't purge I still focus on the fact that I binged and that makes me so mad and disgusted with myself. I hate feeling like a whale. I hate how I tell myself I can't wear things until I get skinnier. There's days when I don't even get "dressed" and just wear my gym clothes all day because I know I'm going to hate the way I'll look and feel. But I can hide behind a nice big sweatshirt.
it will go away, dani. but we have to work **** hard for it unfortunately.
i know what you mean about the clothes. i find it so hard to get out of my pjs simply cause i might see a bit of my own skin. truthfully, i can't even shower regularly (yuk, makes me even more disgusted with myself) and if then i do it with gloves on so that i don't feel my wobbly bits directly. mental!!!
i hope we learn to accept that the middle is good too. it's not all black or white, either/or. but yeah, we gotta work for it...
I wasn't going to say it! ...but since you beat me to it. I do that too, not showering. I just can't take my clothes off some days. Some days I won't even change before bed. I'll just binge until I'm tired enough to fall asleep and not even bother with it. It's so gross. I wake up soaking wet with sweat because of all the toxins in my body that I consumed right before going to bed.