I feel really depressed and kinda of like a huge loser. I ha

I feel really depressed and kinda of like a huge loser. I have been divorced since February. I was separated for four years prior. I keep holding out hope for my ex. How do you get rid of that?

That's hard for me too. I can't shut the door because it seems so devastatingly final and permanent. Feels like being on the edge of a bottomless pit when i consider it. Keeping the door open really prolongs the suffering though. Putting it to bed would allow you to move on. Easier said than done though, i know.

But I know I need to. My ex husband still hurts me. I accept blame for it, because I have not cut off ties. I am now. I am tired of this roller coaster. I do not know how the hell I am going to do this, but I am. I am so tired of crying all the time. Sorry for the ramble.

My STBX abandoned me had me arrested for violating a PFA that was full of lies, literally left me to find my way home from NYC to Northern PA after being involved in a car accident that left 2 people dead and me with a concussion. Yet I'd take her back tomorrow and be happy for what she gives me,

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