I feel so unstable, like one day im in a kind of god complex

I feel so unstable, like one day im in a kind of god complex mindset and then the next im so self negative. Then i go to super depressed and wanting to harm myself. And then right back to the numb space, then to the god complex. I have my first day of class coming up in a couple of days and im scared that ill be in a "god complex" mindset or even the super self negative space. If im "lucky" ill be in a god complex for 3 weeks and then drop. just like that instantly. And i fear im starting that god complex mindset again. Mainly because i currently feel numb or empty.

Have you been formally diagnosed with BPD?  Do you go for counseling?  Are you on medication?  

@CKBlossom i got formally diagnosed about two weeks ago, but my physiatrist and i have been talking about it for about two years now. I have talk therapy every two weeks but i am thinking of going up to every week. I have a fainting disorder and have to wait to try the rest of medications till i get the ekg done. But then with the breast cancer my doc doesn’t want to put me on any