I finally left my narcissist husband. Although I generally feel great; most days like a massive weight has been lifted off me, some days like today I miss him.
2 Hearts
That happens. I grieve for the man I THOUGHT he was. But who I thought, didn't exist. It will get easier with time. Think about the good in yourself and self talk, when you have to
2 Hearts
Michelle825 if u need anything feel free to message me trust me it's going to get better I promise you that.. No more tears think postive thoughts u will get threw this!!!
1 Heart
Thank you Linda
That's what I try to tell myself. That I paid dearly for those good days.
Ditto, so confusing to the human Brain bc the good times were so amazing, and then the bad with a narc seems like being in the worst tornado storm of your life.
I struggle with that constant ying/yang affect, rationale brain knows DO NOT RETURN unless you enjoy constant abuse but non rationale brain keeps thinking of all the amazing over the top times of euphoria happiness, which to them was never real. UUgghh wish there was a magic medication designed just for narc abuse !
Hang in there, I am now focusing one minute at a time.
I have been with my narc husband for ten years, only married for two. I am finally at my breaking point. I physically and mentally can't handle the stress any longer. I know that when I leave I will have moments of missing him, that is only normal. You become addicted to the cycle and it is very hard to step out of it. I feel such great relief when after a bad fight, or a long silent treatment, he decides to throw me a bone and make up. I hope that in the moments when I miss him, or the idea of him, I will remember that no person in the world has ever treated me with such disdain, such utter disrespect, and so much hatred. And my god....it is my husband! Hang in there, Michelle.
yellowrose10 If it walks like a duck and talks like a swan, its a narcopath.. I just read this and thought i.. just perfect. Thanks it did make me laugh.. so true
@tabbylady - Good morning, tabbylady. You know, the fact that none of their deceptions were for our benefit is so hurtful to think about. I look at photos of us together, and think of things that she said and did, and it all served to convince me that we really had something together. But at some still-undefined point in the relationship, she simply began to get bored with me and lost interest, and the devaluation was on. She had talked about being “easily bored” but it never, ever occurred to me that I - who I thought was the new center of her life as she was mine - could be the object of that boredom. That revelation shredded my heart.
Very well said Phoenix.