I found out today my boyfriend (it’s still hard for me to

I found out today my boyfriend (it’s still hard for me to call him my ex) decided to go on an impromptu camping trip with his “friends”. I put the term in quotations because I know he doesn’t consider them friends, but rather just people he can be around and use with. He knows I worry about him, but yet he never told me he was leaving. Left his phone and split. When I got in touch with one of the people he was with (basically because I was trying to find out if he was alive), this guy tells me that my bf needed a break. And that guys need that. My bf has hurt me so unbelievably much in the last 4 days. It’s amazing how things can go bad so quickly. But I get so angry at myself because I’m having such a hard time breaking up with him. People say I need to move on, and I’m so much better off...makes me feel like such a failure that having so much trouble. Supposedly my boyfriend is coming back, but I’m not sure if this is a weekend camping trip, or something that will carry through the 4th. He’s up there, numbing himself to the world, while I sit here pouring my soul out to a bunch of strangers who think I’m a fool for not telling him to screw off. Which, by the way, I couldn’t tell him that anyway because he’s not in contact with me. So I guess I just sit and wait.

@JamiB I know what you're going through, my LDR ex broke up with me a few months ago after a month of being together saying he couldn't handle the distance anymore. I
It's been 3 months since we broke up, and I still find it hard to call him my ex even though I want it to be clear we're not together anymore when I'm telling other people. I still think it's best for you to try to move on since he's taking his own break (my ex did that a lot after we broke up, he'd go days without texting me and when I'd ask him why, that was his answer) You can't sit around and wait forever, I know it's hard for you to move on, it was for me too but it's the best option if he's not talking to you anymore

@cupcake012 it’s a complex situation. Because he’s not talking to me right now but when he’s down and done he’ll contact me. It’s always on his terms when he’s using. I know it might not be any different than any other addict behavior, but it’s one that’s always hurt and angered me so much. He never keeps a line of communication open when he’s using. I know I need counseling, but the few counselors I’ve contacted aren’t taking on new patients. So my search continues.

We don't know your whole story but it sounds like you should talk with a professional counselor about this, there are red flags all over, good luck

@IMOKRU yea I’m trying to find one