I go on to FB to talk to a friend and alllll I see ate post after post after POST of relationship stuff, everyone is getting pregnant and having babies or getting married. All of them 20-25, I'm only 23 and I feel so faking left out. Idk if it's because I have no boyfriend, there's no point in having kids right now but I do want a family some day. Overall it's just annoying to see all these people I went to school with enjoying life and having families, being normal. Meanwhile i still can't drive, stick in this broken down apartment with my narc mom, no help, drained of every fcking thing due to this a use and what it's done to me. Why can't I just have a good life?! I'm trying. Every dmn day I try. I barely cry anymore because I'm tired of it. Constantly in these stupid situations and always dealing with the crumbs of lie because I clearly don't come first. I jst want to be on my own, simply grocery shopping on my own s a dream for me. I'm no hater and I'll always hope for the best for other people but at the end of the day it's like why is my life so slow? Gosh I want to cut, slice, punch, cry. I can't even harm myself anymore, ironically knowing I can't do it makes me even more upset because I want to lose control so badly. Is this what it's like to realize you've actually grown?
Big hugs! Yes. This is adulthood! I tell my daughter when you are a kid you have to do stuff you don't want to do because adults tell you to....the difference in bring an adult is you still have to do things you dbt want to do because YOU tell yourself to. I thinking stood at times to get mad at your circumstances. Sometimes it is the momentum for change.
It is really frustratingly aggravatingly hard to want something or feel spinning wheels.
I pray you can see that you are taking a step---especially with NOT self harming-- and going forward. It is slow at times.
Some of your friends' relationships will not last....maybe if it takes you longer you will be more likely to find a good match (?)
@NCMom thank you so much unfortunately through my young eyes, it doesn’t feel like I’ll meet anyone or will be good for anyone. I don’t go half of the stuff young adults do these days. I don’t party, club, only drink wine in my birthday and I’m so quiet by nature. I’d like to believe the wait is worth it… I guess I’ll try lol