I grew up with a very critical and negative Mother. Ever sin

I grew up with a very critical and negative Mother. Ever since I was a kid she has made me feel like everything that goes wrong, whether with me or anything in the house, it’s all my fault. I was so trapped in self criticism. But now that I’m maturing, i see how every time that I criticised myself it wasn’t my own but her voice in my head. But now it has gotten even harder to live with her realising she’s the one pulling me down all this time. I cannot look at her with same eyes and respect. But i try my best to not let it come in way of my love for her.

1 Heart

@GurpreetGoraya So sorry you feel this way. My dad is the same way, he's a very judgmental, emotionally abusive person. He had constantly said stuff that hurt my self-esteem defending himself by saying he was trying to help me when it really hurt me more than it helped and would constantly blame stuff that went wrong on me. He would constantly defend his own actions against me, making excuses for himself. I hope you'll be able to find the support that you need. This isn't your fault. Do you have anyone you can talk to who may be able to help?

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@rose520 I understand your situation dear. May God give you strength to stay strong. Our Father died 12 years ago and my elder sister lives away in Australia. She’s a hardworking woman and I can never match up to that. I have a younger brother who is an addict so he’s not even home most times. God is my only hope.

I really understand that feeling, I also feel the exact some thing until this very moment. My advice is to get out of the house and find a place for yourself to minimize the critics while trying to retrain yourself to not feel small in everything you do. You're not your parent's doll to be shaped as they want. You are your own self and you're unique in your own way

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@Arth13 Thank you so much dear. Your words are so comforting. I am just about to graduate in a few months and I will do anything possible to get away from home. I have been wanting this for so long. But then the fact that she would be left alone because she is widow also doesn’t feel good. I hope I am able to make the right choice for myself.

Hopefully, your sister will help with support for your mother. Very sorry to hear about your mother’s negativity and your brothers addiction.

@andine Thank you so much dear.

@kgmaxwell Thank you so much dear. I always thought it was just her but now I understand that my thoughts may also have a role in it. I always expect her to criticise me. Which she usually does. But I think I should start changing my expectations.