I had a confusing/helpful/embarrassing/hurtful conversation yesterday. I was going to dinner with my cousin whom I love more then life. I'd do anything for him. And we ran into one of his customers he talks to at his work. And i guess he talks about me to her and I guess how I'm overweight came up when she revealed she had weight loss surgery. Anyway when I introduced myself to her she got this pleasing look on her face and went in her wallet and searched for a business card. She pulled me in close and put her arm around me and my cousin stepped back a couple feet. She then began to tell me she had been heavy all her life and about 6 months ago she had weight loss surgery and it changed her life. For about 25 mins we three stood in the street discussing this topic and how it was the best she she ever did and how it didn't cost her anything and how miserable she was and how she hates shopping for size 24 because "I hated shopping" "ain't non of that cute, no body wanna shop for 24s". She said how much my cousin loved me and didn't want me to die and he didn't bring it up because he didn't know how I would react. Upon receiving this unsolicited awkward yet informing and inspiring advice I felt very ashamed and had to hold back tears a few times in the conversation. I also felt like this was him caring and her also because she was where I am. I'm not sure how to feel about this. This conceration now replays over and over in my head. Moments in mad and angry. Moments im like "they just care". I Know I'm obese, I've looked in weight loss surgery. But why do people look at larger people and automatically assume they aren't happy. Over the years I developed a confidence about myself. I do not care what others think or if they have any negative things to say. Yes I'm unhealthy, but just because you were unhappy and had no confidence when you were overweight. Why do you automatically assume Im the same way. I would honestly like some opinions about this. Thanks for reading
Hey there, sending hugs and love to you. I think although it was coming from a caring place, it still stings a bit. No one likes to know that they were the center of someone else's conversation. this lady, (like everyone), viewed the world through her perception. She was miserable being overweight, and lacked self confidence so she assumes others must feel the same as her. Have you talked to your cousin yet? what does the group think?
i have had people come up to me and talk to me about my weight. sometimes i don't mind, they want to help and other times i have gotten mad and offended because it isn't their business and i am doing what i can about it already. i don't know what to say except that whatever you feel about it is okay.
Snowflake I have had the same issue. I live in a low income apt building. Some of the ladies here are elderly. I am not saying that all elderly people have no filter... but several of them here do.
I have one lady who constantly commented on my weight. Little digs here and there. I finally said "I am overweight? Really? I wouldn't have known that if you hadn't brought it up! Thank You for bringing it to my attention!" That shut her up. LOL
I know what you mean though. It is a combo of sadness and anger that someone is judging you. I am sorry you have to deal with that!