I had a husband that I loved so much the only man I ever was in love with he was gorgeous and intelligent but he loved heroin he was so addicted to that drug .that drug completely destroy his life and our marriage he robbed ,cheated went to prison and treated me like. Like I meant nothing to him I was second to his drug . as time went on he definitely destroyed what was left of me .He was with another woman who was on drugs as well then he died of a drug overdose. it completely broke my heart I’m still sick over it I will never get over it .He did so many awful things to ruin my life along the way but I MISS HIM I love him still . I’m on the site I guess because cause nobody will really ever understand how I feel but other people maybe that or addicted ?I don’t know . I need to just unload how painful it is to of lost him and all that went with him when he died . Heroin was not who he was it’s what he did if that makes any sense . I sometimes wonder did he ever love me ? nobody understands how I feel not my children not my family .sometimes his kids do but no one really knows my pain . but he was truly the love of my life and I don’t know if he will ever know how much I really loved him and how I miss him .i can still see his sneaky grin and his big blue eyes . I miss him. Heroin took his life and I will never be the same without him.
I think my mother understood the feelings you have. My father was an addict also. He went to prison. Her parents insisted she dessert the marriage and pressured my mother to marry my step father after her divorce and then pressured my father to give up his parental rights. Later, in my 30s I reunited with my father and by then he was sober and out of prison and living a normal life. He told me heroin and families don't mix. He apologized to me for his mistakes in life. He later died of lung cancer. But one thing that I remember very clearly was my mother told me she used to sneak to visit my father in prison, even after she remarried. She was very obsessed with my father and loved him all her life.
Wow I understand that.
@Pauline1234, it’s truly sad your feelings about your one true love that can never be fulfilled in the way you wanted. And for that I’m so sorry. : ( One thing my father told me before he died, was that he felt really guilty about my mother, because how he went on to a new love and he still felt, although they were divorced, she was his true wife.
Aww that’s beautiful she has that to always remember.
@Pauline1234, actually my mother had already passed away by the time he told me that. And when he was dying, he told me he could see my mother coming, like an angel, for him to take him to heaven. He told me that so I’d know she went to heaven when she died. They both died of cancer very young, in their 50s, which is how old I was when I got it, only I survived it for 6 years.
Thank you for telling me your story I lost my mom and a lot of people I loved too life is hard.
@Pauline1234, It is. So you must be a rather strong person after all you’ve endured, with losing your one true love, along with other family.
Thank u . I don’t feel so strong.
@Pauline1234, Ikr. It’s difficult to “feel” strong under the
circumstances. : (
Thank u Always here for you as well if you ever need someone to talk to
@Pauline1234, That’s very kind of you to offer and thank you. I’ll keep that in mind.