I had been doing okay but the last few days have had the suicidal idealizations. There's a lot going on in my life that I don't want to deal with. There are decisions which feel like they are lose-lose propositions for me. I am tired of being treated as a second (bottom) rated person. I just want everyone and everything to go away.
Sorry you're having such a hard time, friend. I'm glad you're here with us. When we go through stressful times sometimes it feels like it would be easier to just end it. I hope when you're feeling this way you come here and spend some time talking with people here instead. We're all in different times zones so someone might not answer right away, but someone will always answer eventually. Hope you're doing better today.
@AnaLeigh - thanks for your words. I know that with all the troubles going on in the world that I have more than most. A lot of the time it is when I look into the future and see little hope, that things will never get better for me. Life is such a struggle at times.