I hate feeling and being so lonely
Your not alone . I found benefits to living alone when I split from my x but I now see the benefits to having someone around .
I’m still lonely when people are around
Go to a play and listen to people’s conversations and take notes. Write its down for a snitch hobby… or better yet, look for attractive girls, write down what is attractive about them. Find the pattern, if you get stopped by someone. Says it’s research on what is attraction? Then you can do other things like 7 years together would you find someone else or stay.
I also am alone and old. I don’t drive because I had brain surgery when I was 8 years old which took away all vision in BOTH eyes from center to left. I have no friends here. I have some from where I used to live, and phone calls are helpful but not the same. I hate living alone.