I hate my brain

I don't know what's going on with me. People say it's called scrupulosity. I keep having unwanted thoughts about religious matter. I have anxiety, I'm paranoid, I cannot sleep, I just feel like my life will never be normal again. Let me explain. A little over a month ago this random thought came in my head for some reason about selling your soul. I pushed it out of my head but the thought just kept coming back. I even said out loud without really thinking that I would sell my you know what. So now ever since, I have these thoughts of being empty inside. I'm afraid because it's been over a month and these thoughts of feeling empty havn't past. I don't know what to do, and I'm scared to tell anyone cause I'm afraid they will think I'm crazy.

Mike. . . I believe in God, and I believe in the forgiveness given from God. Fear does not come from God. I would suggest that if you are sincere, you ask for forgiveness. God always forgives.

I often feel like I can't talk about the way I feel with others, just like you. Primarily because people may think I'm crazy, judge me, treat me differently, or talk behind my back. I have learned that I can take my concerns to God, and I also now have people like you to share with and lean on. We all can support, encourage and lift each other up during our struggles.

Keep journaling!!

I know it is very hard to not worry about your situation, but I can tell you that there are many people who have your same fear. At one time, I had a fear that I was actually posessed, and that is why I did so many bad things. While my statement does not resolve your fears, I hope it helps to know that there are so many others out in the world that have your same condition. Please feel free to write me any time and I will try to respond as soon as possible...we all need help from our friends.

Ray

I know what you mean Mike, I had a thought about being a lesbian at one point when I was feeling low and I constantly think I am one now, and start freaking out and crying about it. And its not the fact that being a lesbian scares me because If i was one i wouldn't care, but its because I'm not one and the thought of it keeps going through my head and I'm afraid it will ruin me and boyfriends relationship. But the way i'm thinking is called HOCD, but I'm sure theres also people out there that think the same way you do, keep researching it. I thought I was alone, I thought i was weird until i found out about HOCD.

Its like your brain likes to obsess about your fears all the time. Its really annoying.

Try some rescue remedy and chamomile tea to calm you down a bit when you think that way, and if it doesn't work, maybe you will need to get professional help, if it persists.

Stay Strong :)
A ♥