I hate to be selfish. But why tf did this happen to me at this time in my life. It's sad to think that in last December I loved who I was. Now I feel like I'm going to have to accept the person I'm not and never have wanted to be.
Same bro, i know what you feeling!! this is hard everyday i feel so **** and cry why and i hate to be slefish too, but i know what you feel.
this is so hard, like 3 month ago, i havent no problem, without checking, without any thoughts about my sexual oritation cuz i knew i straight
i got crush in lot of girls, i got horny all day from porn and girls, all the time in class, i had a lot of fantasies about girls... all the time i saw a beatiful girl i got horny. i been loved with lot of girls. and had a lot of girlfriends
now, 3 month, my life changed, how the hell i get to this, that i think if i love guys or girls howw i knew i loved girlss why why?? i know that im selfish now, but this is hardd to know that....
hard to know that all the time im with beatiful girl, im checking and thinking about it alot, im so fear fear that it wont be like before, im missed to this
i remember, thats i asked all the time that i will be not horny any more, now im so miss to this
im so afraid
and of curse i know, my attraction to girls there i know, i got attraction to girls everyday, but not like before
before it was without checking without fears without thought or obssesion, i just knew it i didn't thought about it..........
now all the time i watch porn, this is not free cuz i want to be horny and i can, the thoughts win...
now i check all the time gay porn...
all the time i see girl with bikini or something, or boy without shirt, i remind on it, all the time i with a girl, and the attraction there, im checking and thinking about it alot,
all the time im with my friends, i image my self kiss them or something, and all the time check if i attraction to there, even the attraction not there, this is so hard, and i know what you feel
and you know something, the only problem is not the Sexual orientation, is those thought and fears, and checking and anxiety and obsession on this, because we know, we know we still straight, and i know and you know and everybody on this group, know that.
when we will deal with those thoughts, and stop checking and think about our Sexual orientation
And sexual attraction
and we will be "free" with this like before the HOCD, all will gone, and the only way this will gone, is search a therapist, because he/her the only person that know how to Give the tools to deal, and break it all.
because when we will deal with it and relax and let the thought like okay, slowly you will see that this is will gone.
and then when we will stop checking and dealing with those obsession, all will back like before, because before the HOCD started you was straight, and you knew it!
thats so hard i know it, the HOCD know how play our mind, and i had times on day, that im really think im gay like 100%...
but you must remember.
Your born straight, you knew you are straight, your still straight...
This is not possible to change, and i know this fear, i know this is hard, and i have this fear all this 3 month, but you can beat it!!! do not give up
I highly recommend you find a Therapist, this is the only way broke this hell!
@HeadpHOCD21 I agree man. It’s just sad that this had to happen. I miss thinking about nothing else when I’m with my girlfriend but her. Stay strong.
So crazy dude, I think this all the time. I really didn't need all of this as i'd finally reached a point where I was happy. I was happy and had everything going for me. Great gf, awesome job, awesome grades etc etc. When did all of this start for you? Mine was on Jan 6th, I remember it exactly, like it was a switch or something. =(