I have a 7 month old. I am a SAHM, though I had planned to start working again (I am self-employed) when he turned 6 months old. Then COVID hit and I figured it was smart to continue at home since we wouldn't be able to use childcare and it's unlikely my business would pick up during a pandemic.
We've gone through phases with the baby (like all babies, I guess) where he will be really "good" and sleep well, nap, etc. and then he'll be awful - waking up several times a night, fighting naps, screaming if you set him down, etc. I was starting to feel the pressure of being at home with him all the time (and my husband works long hours) so I had my mother coming to watch him 1 day a week while I got some time to myself and ran errands. Now that's obviously stopped - my state is under a shelter in place order.
My husband is working from home but he's still working long hours, so he is shut in his office all day unable to help. Now I'm just home, all the time, with a baby who is currently going through another tough phase. He isn't sleeping well. He isn't napping well. He is either starving or fights eating. He screams and cries often. I'm exhausted. I constantly have a headache. And I am so resentful that I decided to have this baby at such an awful time. We can't go anywhere. I can't have anyone come watch him. My husband does help on the weekends and for maybe an hour in the evening during the week but the rest of the time I feel like I'm being screamed at by a baby. I have a hard time smiling at him or interacting with him, especially after I've been up in the night or he's been fussy all day. I feel like I'm being a bad parent and sometimes I want to just leave and let my husband deal with it for a few days. But I can't! Nowhere to go.
I didn't think I had PPD, but now i feel like maybe I do.
So sorry for the difficult situation. It does sound like a touch of PPD, but with great cause and factors way outside of your control. I wish there was an easy fix. Have you tried lavender scented bath wash? There are several for babies. Then perhaps a story, a lullaby, lay with him to help him fall asleep. Then maybe borrow some of that lavender wash for yourself and have dad be "on call"! Since your both home, maybe you can sleep when he does, and maybe put a playpen in whatever room (or visible through a doorway, when you are cleaning, cooking, etc. so he can see you. He may be going through some separation anxiety when he can't see you since you've been together so much. Hang in there momma. COVID won't last forever. Prayers for peace, strength and relaxation.
@pam4him We do use a lavender baby bath and have a good routine down. He actually goes down to sleep at night pretty easily but the night wakings are what is killing me. He used to sleep through the night but now he’s waking up and difficult to settle. I get too frustrated when I’m overtired and I have a hard time being patient with him when he’s fighting sleep at 3 am.
You’re probably right about separation anxiety. Teething pain has been a problem too. I really want to be a more patient, loving mom. He is just a baby and it’s not fair that I get so frustrated when he’s upset. But some days I feel like nothing I do works and I can’t get anything else done or sit down for 5 minutes.
I hope that things start to get easier once the COVID restrictions lift. Having a babysitter for a few hours will feel like a dream.
Thank you for your response and prayers. 
You are most welcome. These are challenging times for most everyone. Do your best, and maybe talk with hubby about the middle of the night wakings and maybe taking turns. Continued prayers.
I am so sorry that you are going through this. I am a postpartum doula and I know you are not alone. Many mamas are having a tough time right now. It is a lot to handle and a very unique time - which makes it extremely stressful. I am here and happy to talk; sometimes that helps mamas a lot. Please let me know if I can support you in anyway. Also, don't hesitate to call a physician or 911 if you feel that PPD has begun. It can happen at anytime in the first 1.5 of baby's life. BIG hugs!
@APOR2017 Thank you! I really appreciate your response. I’ve been having good days and bad days, trying to stay positive.
