Hi its Crazycurls. I am not supposed to be on here because people think that I should not be posting and they think I don't have an eating disorder but I need help and support I can't even deal right now.
I am spinning out of control so quickly having a major panick and meltdown and I don't know what to do with myself. I stepped on the scale and gained a little weight and I am FREAKING OUT I have been throwing up all day I have held nothing down the past few weeks I was in the hospital and it has just been worse since I got out. I am out of control, I am leaving the school I am at now but I don't know how I am going to get support I am so nervous that I need to get into treatment but I don't think I can I don't have any money I want to go to ohio but I don't know what to tell people I feel disgusting, failing. I can't eat anything without throwing up, either voluntarily or involuntarily, I have diarrea, I can't stand up without feeling like I am going to pass out my heart has been pounding... it scares me. I can't concentrate on anything I can't do anything except think about when I am going to eat something because I know I need to eat and gain weight but I can't eat anything without getting carried away or just throwing up anyways.
I want someone to tell me it is going to ok... the people in my life want to un-emancipate me because I am doing so badly I can't go back to my parents I really can't I can't that would just make everything worse.
I am struggling so badly right now. I am supposed to go to New Orleans to see my grandma but I can't see myself being healthy by the 31st, I need help.
I can't keep going on like this!!!!
Thanks for letting me rant I am so frustrated I can't even deal right now.
CC
AAAHHHHHH!!!!!!
What am I supposed to do?? I am freezing cold in the middle of the summer in san diego I can't get warm.
SOMETHING is wrong
Hi CCunknown, I suggest you see your doctor for help in finding out what is going on. There is help available if you seek it. We are here to offer support. I feel you need to see someone face to face, in real life also for help. Do that starting today, if you wish to get better. Keep sharing and letting us know how you are doing.
CC--glad you changed your unsername, ha
ok---but CC YOU NEED TREATMENT. what about your therapist/ psychologist/psychiatrist??? arent they helping???
you really really do need help CC. you do . you need treatment. i know about the financial problems, but wont it be worth it???
you dont want to put yourself in danger and im sure you dont want to go back to the hospital CC .
we are here for you, and you know what CC if getting help means relocating---then do it.
love
maureen
CC,
Does it really matter if those around you understand that you DO have an eating disorder? I know it FEELS like they need to get it... But would it change anything for you, really? Your experience would not change. You would still be suffering the same effects. We all want, need, and deserve support. But even if those around you are unable or unwilling to see your pain, that doesn't mean it is any less real, or that you are any less deserving of help. ♥ I hope you will continue to push for what you need. You've taken some very brave steps recently. You went to the hospital! You sought help! And you even realized that your physical condition is worse than you thought... I agree that you need treatment. Ohio would be a WONDERFUL place for you to recover! :) You need a fresh start, and lots of support. I know it's expensive. I know the financial burden is overwhelming. But your life is worth paying whatever it takes. You CAN recover! Fully! :) I believe in you!
Much love,
Jen
CC...Can you see that you are in a unique situation where you are FREE to choose? It may not feel that way right now, but it's true. I know taking steps for help is frightening, but you are doing it ♥, and you have others to help you along the way :)
Ohio is not such a bad place....for recovery...♥
HUGS...Jan ♥
Yes Jan, I know... I do have the choice.
And Ohio is sounding like a really good place for me to recover... I will do everything that I can to get to a place where I can be safe and get help.
Thank you SOOOO much!!
CC
I know you are...gentle reminders....♥