I have always been able to be strong when I have to be. Why is Anxiety taking over my thoughts and I feel like I am losing it. My 27 yr old son was in a horrific car accident however by the Grace of God survived and is dealing with limited vision and TBI and has a baby due in Sept. My husband is a serial Cheater but I have dealt with that for 30 yrs. I know my relationship is very unhealthy and I need to end it but Im so scared because after 30 yrs ...well alot of "stuff" I know I need therapy.
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ok i got my mom living with her cheater husband . i feel disgust to call him father . i keep asking her why the hell u living with him under same roof . and she treats her like normal and when i dont answer his HI's he gets mad at me n has no idea why .. i feel its my mother fault that has behaved in a way that made him think his mistake (cheating ) was small .they marriage is 37-38 yrs long . but whatever i dont get it WHY and HOW u can tolerate living with some1 who lied to u cheated on u .
1 Heart
There are lots of youtube videos on anxiety and infidelity. I recommend that you start watching these and educate yourself about the dynamics of these both. You will start to understand , from a therapy point of view, what you can do to make your life better. Sometimes even small changes help. I find Keith Gaynor at St Johns of God Hospital in Ireland to be a great lecturer. His video on depression is very helpful. On youtube HUGS
Thank you and spark girl - I know how you feel because our daughter is the same way! She is discusted with her father and is on me all the time which I know is because she loves me but it really is so hard. I don't want to be there but people make divorce look so easy... it is not after 30 years and I really have no place to go until I can get a divorce. HE will NOT leave and thinks we can work through it and I just feel like I am at my breaking point and so afraid I am not strong enough to take the step I KNOW I need to take to find peace.
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@aubjoshmom u got ur children and ur daughter support .yea i know maybe u r scared of getting lonely .and yea dont relay on ur kids 100% becoz they may one day find they partners n go on their way but it depends on ur guy …i dont know ur case but i am living in my home n seeing my parents n i know my dad he is really a terrible person …before we come to know that he cheated he bothered us a lot . he always making mess and making debts n my mom had to clean . if he was tryin for family n making those debts it was fine . but NO . he was spending for other women and having fun with his car . let me add he is getting car accident almost once in a month n each time he makes us get loss like 1 500 dollars . but he never gets a scratch ! he just misuse my mom. sorry it became too long . all i am saying ask urself if it is worth to tolerate him … yea nobody is perfect …but if u feel its not worth then be brave n decide . we r always afraid of changes …n stopping it . but sometimes changes make life better
I am not afraid to be alone. I guess I want him to leave to make it easier for me but mostly it is the mountain of paperwork and figures that has to be gathered to even get papers drawn up. I KNOW I cant do this anymore otherwise I will end up in the hospital from anxiety - Maybe I am to lazy to do the legwork IDK My son is dealing with his tragedy and I need to be focused on him and I have a high powered career too that I can't be falling apart like this. One day at a time. I am past thinking things will ever change and just want out.
@aubjoshmom the straw this time after so many times… was his timing… really… while our son is in dyer straights in the hospital you have to have an affair with not just anyone but the next door neighbor!! I don’t understand how people can be so cruel…
@spark girl.. That is true change is good for us sometimes. But you are better off giving your Mom support and not pushing her. She has fears and to face those fears she needs to acknowledge her needs and figure a way they can be met. Men are scary when they get angry for one. If you loved him that long of course it is hard to change. She needs to work through a lot of crap to find her strength. Does she have the means to get counseling? You are right to be concerned about her and want the best for her. You are a good daughter and I am sure a great comfort to her. Be a survivor regardless of what your situation is. Give your Mom extra love and attention to sustain her. Sending you strength, hope, ((hugs)) and prayers.
2 Hearts
@Aubjoshmom, Honey, you have a lot on your plate. Thank God your son is doing better after the accident. Prayers for his continued healing and rehab. You have come to this realization from a bad place. You have 30 years but you have no doubt given this relationship your all. So enough is enough. You must let go to find your destiny. Even in the bible it says that marriage is forever unless there is infidelity. So this is a crossroad for you to get the help you need from church or counseling. You need strength to take the necessary steps. Go to the library to get forms on seperation and begin to get an escape plan. It will empower you. You must find strength. Avoid anger and confrontation. Just be matter of fact when dealing with him. Post often and take good care of yourself. You are in my prayers. You can do this! You are important and deserve a bit of happiness. Sending you much hope, strength, giant ((hugs)) too. God’s strength and healing peace.
Ty Teeny... I am turning to my church and in prayer daily!! I couldn't get this far without Gods Help. I do feel like I have just to much at once and it is tearing me down when I need to be there for my son! I am in tears right now but happy ones thanks to your loving post. We are going on our ANNUAL family vacation that we have gone on for 20 plus years. My Husband is NOT going this year because I can't pretend and I need the Ocean Therapy... My son has been cleared to go - Praise God- and I just have to take steps for my own sanity to try and not only feel normal but peaceful and happy again.
1 Heart
Oh wow! The ocean is a perfect place to let go of stresses!! You deserve that big time with your sweet son. Lots to be thankful for. Positive prayer!!! Xx
Its never too late to live a healthy life. Just because youve dealt with something for 30 years doesnt mean you have to accept it as all there is. You owe it to your son and future grandkid to set a good example and that is to choose healthy relationships over convenience. My mother never chose health and this is the reason i will never have a true relationship with her. I have no respect for her because she wont choose help over chaos.