I have been constantly searching for some sort of help and therapy for my situation. I have joined this support chat for incest survivors in hopes to find others who have experienced all of what I have, and who might be able to help me in some way. I suppose I should give a bit of information before I begin. My mother had me at the young age of seventeen, with my father (her twenty one year old boyfriend at the time). They eventually broke up and I found myself often switching households and staying with many different family members. My mother was still pretty young, and while she worked I was often at my dads house, where my grandma, grandpa, and uncle also lived. My uncle was still very young, and was always told that I wasn't allowed to be alone with my grandpa, who was a very old abusive, alcoholic. However, he often left me with my grandma, who would leave on certain occasions to go to the store or something. During the times I was left alone in the house with my grandpa, he would pull me into his lap, touch me, and make me pleasure him orally. Because I was so young, and didn't understand what was going on, this happened often without the rest of my family finding out. I thought at the time that it was normal and didn't question it. It had to have stopped before I started kindergarten. I think I always knew mentally that something had happened to me, but strangely enough I didn't fully remember what had happened until about a year ago. It sounds pretty unbelievable, but as far as I know many have gone through the same situation I have. It has effected me allot emotionally, and though many of my friends know about it, I haven't been able to tell an adult figure. Not only is it scary to think about my life changing so drastically after telling someone, but I'm afraid of hurting my family. My mother had an awful life when she was a child, and has been raped on multiple occasions by her uncle. I know she'll understand, but she has allot of stress to deal with already. My dad on the other hand I do not think would believe me. I often see my grandpa on the weekends I am with my father, and I'm often forced to hug him and tell him I love him. Most of the time I end up crying after these encounters. I'm honestly pretty scared and confused. If anyone can please help out somehow, it would be really appreciated.
Oh man. Men are pigs. How old are you. Is there any chance of leaving the home
@sueshe My grandpa doesn’t live with us, but he lives right down the road. I’m only fourteen. I know it’s a really young age, and many people refuse to talk to me because of it. It only makes things more difficult.
Do you have a school counselor you can trust. Or a teacher.
@sueshe Not really. I spoke to a counselor once about some of my family issues, but they quickly blamed it on simple teenage emotions and me not being open minded enough. I’m also really afraid that they might tell my parents. I’d rather tell them when I’m ready
Hmm. Okay. But the incest is in the past and not currently happening?
@sueshe Correct.
Please continue to reach out if you need to talk. Dont keep it bottled up inside.
@sueshe I’m still not sure how I’ll get comfortable enough to tell my mother. I’m scared of how it will hurt her, and how it might change how things in my life are right now.