I have no idea how to feel about the relationship that I hav

I have no idea how to feel about the relationship that I have been in. I have fallen in love with a man that can't really do much for me. I figured that love doesn't require everything to work out the way I expect it to right away. Like I believe in the highs and the lows. And because I have been dealing with depression it seems so many around me are insensitive to my feelings including the man that I love. He walks out on me any time I just want to talk. But he has the same feelings and it's hard to think that maybe he was just using that as a way to manipulate me. The way he has acted has pointed to him being inconsiderate, insensitive, and manipulative. But there are a lot of times that my family has acted the same way because of the life they lived. So I started to rationalize that just because he hasn't been the way I need him to be doesn't mean he doesn't love me because the same applies to my family. They do the same thing. So then I question what love means because I'm willing to always be there with someone through the up and downs. I don't just quit on the people that I love. From my family's point of view, if a man can't provide for me financially then he is not worth my time. I have a view on life that love is more important than money. I've adopted this mindset because money has been an issue with my family for a long time. What I loved is how this man was with me but I think he cared more about what he gained by being with me than actually being with me. And now everyone is telling me I don't love myself because I loved someone who didn't have much but I don't have much. So it's like saying I won't be able to have love until have my own. It's just weird to me. Trying to wrap my head around it all. People have just been hurt so bad and I'm just like hey I'm here and expecting the same in return.

3 Hearts

Hi there. I understand where you’re coming from. The only difference is that I never had a child. I made the decision when I was 17 to never get married and have children because I didn’t want to bring someone into this world and screw them up the way I was because I have the same kind of dysfunctional family.
My older brother had two children and they’re both a mess. My younger sister has two children and she’s trying very hard to do it right but because she is a narcissist I don’t know how it’s gonna look later down the road. If I had children they would have been hurt. Now that I’m older ,I would like to have them but I would have to adopt.

But I was going to say that I also was a giver and spent many years in relationships that were almost one sided. And at the end of the day I was left with nothing. I had to accept that I was going to spend a lot of time on my own and just take care of myself.
Will I ever have someone in the future? I would hope so but it’s not so easy anymore. But I would rather be on my own than be with someone who’s messed up. And most people are messed up.

You can be very happy and single. Practice self care. Be happy on your own. Build your life.
The secret is good friends.
That’s hard to find too.

2 Hearts

@LollyNews I agree with what you have said/ Most people say that they would much rather be alone. I feel like I have experienced so much on a regular that I have gotten used to everyone going through something. The fact that everyone goes through something is what is supposed to bring us closer together. Usually, we just don't know how to handle all of the emotions and we grow tired. Then the decision to be alone is much more enticing. Nothing wrong with being alone. Nothing wrong with being in love with another human being. Peace is very important but how do we learn to find peace dealing with others if we are always alone. You can literally adopt and do everything you can to prepare but life always has something in store for you that you're not prepared for. Fear of feelings and vulnerability is holding a lot of people back from the joys in life. Love does not exist without pain. The day does not exist without night. This is what grounds me so that I can keep loving the way GOD made me to love.

1 Heart

@Lovelifer26 oh I love that. I agree 100%. I am all about emotions. There is a time to laugh and a time to cry. I like to be up and down. And my younger sister is just non-emotional. I write songs to express my emotions…