My husband of 7 years walked out on me and our 3 dogs a week ago and I am at a loss. I walk into our home and don't want to be their. We both decided to move to VA where neither of us have family to rely on each other. After 2 years he decided to leave me and our dogs in VA and go back to FL. Where we both have family and he has found a job.(he lost his job a month ago)
No discussion, no communication prior to his making this decision for the both of us.
any advice is helpful.
Hi boxerlover, Welcome to SupportGroups.com . I am so very sorry for what you are going through. Have you talked with your husband since he left? Is it possible for you to move back closer to your family? Sounds like more going on than just him leaving because he found a new job. Keep us posted on how you are doing. We are here for you. ((((hugs))))
thank u very much for responding. I am going to take it day by day and appreciate your honesty.
Boxerlover, I'm so sorry for the pain you are having through this situation. I can't even imagine what that's like.
I am assuming since you know where he is and that he got a new job that you have spoken with him.
I agree with bluid, there absolutely has to be more going on. Unless people have completely lost their minds, there is usually another underlying issue.
Obviously he had been contemplating this for some time before he left. How was your relationship with him?
thank you for your support and i appreciate your honesty. I will be giving him his space and trying to get MY life back and all i can do is see where it will lead. I am going to be asking him very candid questions to determin if he has given up on us a long time ago? i might not like what i hear but it’s a start.
thanks
Hello boxerlover, I am really sorry to hear that you're going through some tough time, and I can only imagine how it's like to loose someone this way, no signes no hints nothing to warn you that you're about to loose a part of you.
The key in here is communication, don't rush thing up and just give up on your relationship, it is 7 years of marriage, he might be going thru some tough time too -not that anyone who is, have the right to just leave- so you could probably give him some space for a while and then talk seriously about what lead him to this decision, and does he have any intention on trying to make things work with you, and you need to know if you ever wanna live with him again, and forgive what he did to you.
This is some very tough time, all I wish you is strenght, to be able to get back up on your feet, and face whatever you have too, and whatever he says to you, or he does, you must know that there's always better things for you out there, there's more in life than what you've just seen, so get back on your feet, and do whatever it takes to have your life back, the life you want.
And I really hope you will work things with yourself first, and with your husband.
Best of luck.
Thank u for the advice, i am trying to take it day by day, your advice is very helpfull i DO want answers but am strating to realize that it has only been a lil over a week and he has no answers and i am trying to give him the space that he say’s he needs right now. you have given me a few more things to think about and i am trying to concentrate on working on me. so that i can handle what might happen(not getting back together) or going to counceling.
Hey there boxerlover...
This is painful... When we love as hard as you love it is especially painful to lose that love with no explanation. I'm not sure an explanation is helpful - depending on what it is, but... You mentioned in one of your posts that you are going to take this one day at a time. My love cheated on me (a lot), and I still love him more than life for some stupid reason. I found that taking it day by day was too much... I take it minute by minute. When another minute passes, I look to the next, and the next... The days move slowly, but they do move. A friend of mine lost her husband to another woman a bout a year ago. She assures me that the pain does slowly get better and that on this day one may not feel like she is going to make it, but she does... I also understand that you are finding it painful to be in the house... I am here to tell you that, that DOES get better. As I said I'm still very much in love with the man who caused me this pain, and at first, I couldn't stand to see anything that reminded me of him. I threw away a lot of stuff that he gave me... Nine months later (he kept me on a string for nine cruel months telling me he still loved me) I can see the things he bought me or places we used to go to and enjoy together without that searing pain... Trust me... That part I know gets better. You are right when you say that you need to heal yourself first, but I also know it's hard to see past your hurt right now. When you are ready go and talk to someone about this. It helps... Great big virtual hugs to you!
Thistle
Thanks for the hug. I really need it.Im sorry you went through what you did, and i appreciate your insight. I do have to give him time and am afraid that he keeps me hanging for a period of time and say’s he doesn’t want to reconcile. It’s hard not knowing. I do appreciate your sharing with me.
Thistle, relationships end for a reason. If he was cheating then there's no thought of going back.
My exhusband abused me. I finally ended up having an affair myself because I wanted to be loved by somebody, anybody in the way he should have loved me.
I'm not proud of what I did, but the moment I cheated I knew I didn't love him anymore. There was nothing left in my heart for him.
I honestly don't think someone can cheat and still have respect and true love for their significant other.
If he's cheated, he's moved on. You need to do the same.
Sigh…
I went back a few times after he cheated. I just don’t know why I seem to want this abuse…
I cheated on my ex husband with this man. I left my husband for this man! THAT’S why I think I deserve this. Karma’s a bitch eh? I think that a person can cheat and still love and respect their partner. Marriages and relationships can be re-built after a betrayal like this, but it takes work. A lot of work, and my love just didn’t want to put the work in. I have a friend going through this as well, and when I’m crying all over her and asking why, she says “because they just don’t love us… that’s all.” That is so hard to accept. I love him so much, and he just doesn’t feel the same about me. It’s that simple. Wow… That hurts.