I am a mother of 3 and my boyfriend Dustin for 1 year. I want to stop and noone to help me. We took care of his mom and she passed away June 16, 2010. I took all her pain med's that was left and I feel lower than I have ever felt. I dont want to lose Dustin because he knows of my dependency, i love him because he has showed me there is more to life than drinking and pills. I overcame mt alcohol addicition and I know I can kick my opiod dependency but I cant handle these withdrawals, I need help, and have noone to talk to, is there ne1 that might be able to help??
Yes we are all here for you. You are not alone in this I promise so many of us are going through the exact thing you are its hard, but you will get through this. Do you have a plan as far as methadone suboxone or cold turkey? Either way I definitely recommend counseling. Trauma and/or mental illness is the core of addiction. You must heal mind and body. I will help you the best I can. How long have you struggled with addiction?
Well let me tell you how I got in this situation?? I am questionable to myself and you because I never discussed this with anyone. Cold turkey is the only way I can do this cause I have no family doctor. I have often thought about just paying myself to get treatment but I cant afford it now. I’m sitting here wondering which way I should go, I have one patch left and wondering if I should use it or wait till work on thursday so i dont have to fo thru withdrawls while I work. Then I go thru it all over again, I have 3 kids which me and their father split custody right down the middle, 3 days for him 3 days for him and every other wed. I dont wanna feel sick when their with me, and their father knows of my situation and often helps with a vicodin here and there, but what he doesnt understand is I dont want that anymore. My boyfriend Dustin has no idea that i’m sick and thinks I do this on purpose, I dont know who i am anymore, and i dont wanna lose him becasue of my addicition. It started in 07 when it was here and there, and mainly for work 3 days out of the week. Now it just got worse and worse, ecspecially when Dustin and his mom took me in when i had no where else to go. His mom often gave me Dilauda’s and vicodins, then she got worse and worse with her health and she passed away 3 weeks ago, and I cleaned her out of her med’s, and I feel so low, lower then I have ever felt, Dustin knows I took her medicine and it made him very angry and he thinks I dont care about him and his mom because I took her medicine’s when she died and even b4 that. I have no one else to talk to, Dustin thinks I do this on purpose but when I do I feel like it’s the addict in me that does it
Welcome to the board, Amy. You are so NOT alone in this. Having been an addict for over 15 years, abusing any and all opiates at near lethal levels and now not only clean but also sober for over two and a half years, I assure you that there IS hope.
Now, depending on how much, how long and how often you've been abusing, the withdrawal process generally lasts 72 hours. The acute phase peaking at the 72 hour mark and then slowly subsiding. At my worst, I was averaging 100 pills a day to stave off the withdrawals so cold turkey was not an option for me; I had to be detoxed with Suboxone. I wouldn't advise that for you if a) you don't have insurance because it's VERY expensive without it. B) if you are taking less then 10 pills a day or so, suboxone would be like killing a fly with a shotgun: it is an opiate agonist and you would be upping your dose. Plus, using it longer than ten days makes it a ***** to get off of.
Immodium AD works for the withdrawal process because it is opiate based but won't break the blood barrier (get you high). It will help with stomach issues, too. Magnesium may help with the restless legs and warm baths for the aches. BUT..keep in mind that detoxing is a teeny tiny part of the whole process. It's STAYING sober that people stumble with. If you are willing to do anything to get and stay sober, that is the key to success. Maybe start attending AA or NA meetings for support. Oh, I know..."what if someone sees me!?". Listen, did you care what people thought when you stole grandma's pills? I can tell you things I did to feed my habit that would make your hair curl. So, god forbid people see you setting a power of example and getting help, right? It's our ego that keeps us sick. Truth be told, no one is looking at you or cares as much as you think they do. Believe me. Not your thing? That's ok, too but you need to do something to keep you from falling right back into your old routine. For this addict, the rooms of AA were the last thing I tried and the first thing that worked.
At any rate..hang in there and please, keep posting.
Hi Amy, I know withdrawals can be rough but it will pass and it will get better. I agree with joplinfrk about checking out NA. You can go here http://portaltools.na.org/portaltools/MeetingLoc/ to find a meeting in your area. Make sure to let someone know what you are doing so they can keep an eye on you while you go through the withdrawals. Keep hanging in there and taking it a day at a time. Keep sharing with us and letting us know how you are doing.
Thanks for the advice, I really am likeing this website, I dont feel so alone. Im having a very rough time kicking it when I know in my heart and mind I can, it's me always thinking that I need sumthing even when I just tell myself it's for work. Today I had another rough day and went and bought like 4 things and I feel so guilty but I am the worst at handling stress and I hate always going thru stuff in my mind, on a more positive note I called around for local NA's in my area and got a list of the weeks meetings here. I def. plan on going next day my kids go with their dad.
Amy