I have recently had a break up after 10 yrs together. She le

I have recently had a break up after 10 yrs together. She left me it's been almost 3 weeks as of this up and coming Tuesday. I am trying to find acceptance trying to not be hateful and pick up the pieces. Unfortunately we still work at the same place and due to the covid I am unable to find another job that pays me enough to support myself. I guess I am just trying to reach out and take some burden off close friends and family with my up and down emotions. I have reached out to therapists but unfortunately they are months behind excepting new patients and I have to use my insurance so I am limited
I am hopeful i can connect w/sum ppl on here for support and good advice.

1 Heart

So sorry to hear of your breakup, and of your having to see her every day. Break ups are always hard, and they're especially hard during covid. My suggestion is that you google "How to recover from a breakup." I found many good articles there. Best of luck to you - I hope you feel a little bit better every day. One thing I find really healing is to cry as much as possible. Write down what is most painful, or write it on supportgroups, and cry some more. Write what you miss. Write how it makes you feel. If you want, write some poems about it, or some songs, or do a dance about it, or draw some pictures about it. And cry while you're doing them. Another thing I found helpful is to allow myself to feel the hateful feelings. I know I'm not going to act on them - but I just need to get them out of my system, awful though they sound. I know I don't really mean them, but it helps to cut myself a little slack during the crisis of breakup, and permit myself to have hateful thoughts if they are inside of me. Don't worry, they won't last. They will be gone sooner if you don't shove them down.

2 Hearts

Wow 10years huh. That's a lot to grieve. Be patient and let the grieving process run it's course. You cannot eat that elephant in one sitting, take it one bight at a time and then wrap it up and put it back in the metaphorical fridge until you're ready for the next metaphorical bight.

2 Hearts

Hello Rifandel. What helped me thru a break up recently is I go on Reddit. Also Quora. I just worked on myself. Watched TV. Took up hobbies. Started a new school career. My ex and I remained friends. I also go on the Friendship App. Patook or Bumble BFF. There are counseling in your area thru zoom. Please take care. This support group app is a good group to come and chat. Try to not be hard on yourself. Think about future possibilities. Remain positive.

I completely agree with the premise of writing down your feelings and allowing yourself to feel the grief. Some letters of closure, goodbye letters may help you (you don't have to send them.) I wrote many and left em into space at reddit Unsent Letters sub because how horrible I felt. Once I did that, the couple months of crying every day turned into only occasional memories, waves of grief, or crying. By the third month I was able to actually go a day without even thinking about it. I feel repressing my emotions because I'm forced to be around my estranged ex husband, like you are around your ex partner, really did a terrible number on me. And it was because I was forced to hide my emotions whenever my daughter was around. So really allow yourself to cry if you need to.

@Scat Thank you for writing this Scat. Presently, I am engulfed with the desire to write him a letter. Problem is the theme or flavor of it I am unsure of. For many reasons, I have about three different versions in my mind. I can’t seem to move forward; I don’t think the virus is helping.