I have this urge to reach out to my family after they abuse

I have this urge to reach out to my family after they abuse me emotionally, and when they manipulate me into staying with them, letting them help me out, and letting them take me places I needed to go to. I have been giving into that urge for 27 years, and I don't know how to resist that. Any support would help.

1 Heart

Support is important. We must be cautious if we open ourselves up to known abusers. I recently cut off ties with yet another family member for enabling my abusive brother. Enablers of abuse can be a huge part of the problem. When we accept/*ignore* abuse, we legitimize it. Few people want to speak out against abuse, not understanding their silence helps to perpetuate it. There may be agencies able to provide you with more support. Think about possibly reaching out for more help outside your family. Abusers want to keep us isolated from healthy alternatives. I suspect you may be eligible for more assistance and resources than you are aware of. So happy you have this site to turn to. You seem to be are doing well with you thoughts and posts. Do not give up on continuing to become more mentally healthy and independent.

1 Heart

Is there public transportation where you live? Friends who can help you instead? And, have you tried counseling to strengthen your resolve to stay away from them? Maybe start small by not answering a call/message, then choosing if/when to return it. Perhaps if you must visit, have an "escape plan" ready - a friend who can pick you up, meet in a public place, etc. I'm glad you found this place to get encouragement and support. We are here for you. Prayers for peace, wisdom and guidance.

1 Heart

@pam4him I’m going to talk to my therapist about it tomorrow. Plus, my family got emotionally aggressive and emotionally violent with each other last night during our day out. Nothing was resolved, and my mom acted all friendly with me as if the abuse never happened. She just picked a fight with me, yelled at me for trying to dry my hands with a paper towel, and got aggressive with some of my family members last night. I’m done with my whole family, but I’m still worried about giving in to this urge of going back to them and reaching out to them after they treated me like a property.

It is often difficult to separate ourselves from our abusers especially when they have been trusted loved ones/friends. It does become easier with time and experience. Beware the *love bombing* they use to keep us *hooked*. :(

@andine I will.