I haven't loved myself since i was a child i don't even know how to feel that way again

i was a kid full of confidence lost it at 14 the spiral has gotten ugly and i'm now 39 a recovering alcoholic, bipolar and i think of myself as, a sick, poor thinker, idiot, uncapable, failure in life. i can't get over the fact that my mind broke at 19 from the illness then i began drinking and it became completely disfunctional. i'm almost sober a year this nov.2 but i don't love myself and can't understand what people see in me when it's positive. i expect all to see what i see about me, a loser, insecure, idiot, crazy person. ugh. how do you start loving yourself for the first time in your life since childhood? what do you say to yourself everyday, i love you, you're special, your smart? does that even work? i feel an emptiness in my heart right where my chest is because i won't fill it with love for myself. i just don't know how to?

boticelli - congratulations on being sober for a year tomorrow. you should be so proud of yourself and at this amazing accomplishment. think about what a strong person you are to go through what you have gone through and then you decided to get sober and you did it. that is amazing. celebrate tomorrow and tell yourself you are proud of yourself. yes it does work. when you wake up in the morning think about something you are proud of or something you like about yourself. even if its as simple as i like my eyebrows, or i like the way i look in a certain shirt. just one thing to know you are worth it. i read a post by trick and he also gave this advice:

"Say nice things to you today.
Tell yourself how cool It is to be you.

Think about nice places you have been, places and situations that made you feel good, happy memories etc. and leave it at that."

wow, that’s good, i like that, thank you

and happy belated anniversary on being one year sober! hope you enjoyed the day and thought about how far you have come and how that is a HUGE accomplishment. hope you have a great day!