I hide my pain

Every day I wake up and my stomach jolts me with pain, in protest to my getting out of bed. Throughout the day, my chest randomly is overcome by the same sort of pain. It occurs almost anywhere in my torso, throughout all my days, and It's become another part of my life. At times I'm forced to my knees from it, but most of the time I can maintain it myself. I have tried painkillers and have taken enough to completely numb my face but it does nothing to the daily pains i've grown so used to.

Very few people around me are aware of this. I constantly hide it, it's the only thing I hide. I am known as an open book. I never have problems telling people anything about me or any problems I have, but this pain I just feel the need to fight.

The reason I don't seek medical attention is both because I don't have insurance, and for fear of being put on morphine. I was a heroin addict once. I quit cold turkey when i was 13, and it was the most painful experience of my life, and most likely the reason I am able to live with the pains I do. But If i ever had to do it again, I don't think I could.

I don't know why I'm really posting about it, I guess it just makes me feel better to let people know. I don't like hiding things, really. I've never been a secretive person at all.

Also, I'm sure it's nothing compared to the pain some of you live with daily. I don't mean to belittle anyone's problems. I just wanted to talk about it.

toblat hun, my chronic pain does not afford me the luxury of being able to be out often. majority of the past year bedridden. i understand the fear of being addicted again to morphine but there are many alternatives. if there is a free clinie in your area it may be wise to check out your options. i can't understand living with pain if is unecessary. there is also many resources on the internet that can be used to put in your various symptoms to get a ball park idea of what the problem could be. as well as possible ideas for lessening your pain.
feel free to talk about all you'd like, thats what we are here for. support as well as ideas of how we can help each other. lets see what others may have to offer in forms of help with your chronic pain.

Hey Kathy, I got run over by a car which crippled me for life, I know what pain is too. Today I am trying donut therapy from the local grocery. Good luck.


you'll have to let me know if the donut therapy works, i'm into trying anything that will help with the pain brad. your being crippled, is it your legs honey, that you cna't walk real well?