I just ate the whole family sized bag of doritos without even thinking about it and now I hate myself for it. I'm so disgusting. How do I stop? )':
Stop hating yourself. You have an eating disorder which doesn't reflect on your personal worth. Focus on the challenge of dealing with your eating behaviors.
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I eat when I'm sad which is always. I have social anxiety so it makes it really hard to actually sit down and talk to anyone face to face about this.. I don't wanna hate myself anymore..
@Brandynelson I’m glad you’re talking about your challenges now. It makes me sad to hear that you have self hate. Usually I find folks who make such comments about themselves to be sensitive and caring individuals who are generous and likeable. I’ll bet that describes you.
I don't know.. In the last year I've felt as if I've almost lost myself completely. I don't even know who I am anymore.
I'd like to hear more when you say "I've almost lost myself completely, I don't even know who I am anymore." Feel free to message me if you prefer. I have to leave right now but I'll check back later for your reply.
I lost my Nana, Grandma, my Aunt and 2 of my brothers only 2 months apart from eachother.. my Nana died at age 43 from drugs.. my grandma died at age 84 from stage 4 lung cancer, my aunt died at age 60 from alcoholism, my older brother died at age 34 because he hung himself and my little brother died at age 14 because he got into a car accident. It's been a very hard year for me. I have never experienced a loved one dying until last year. Now my Dad is sick and I feel as if I'm slowly losing my mind. I was put up for adoption at 3 months by my birth mother. She was 17 and couldn't/didn't want to take care of me. I never knew my "dad" more like a sperm doner. All I know is that he was much older than her. I was bullied a lot through school. I eventually dropped out because I was tired of people wanting me and telling me to go kill myself. Now I'm 18 and I just lost my job and I'm trying my hardest to fix my relationship with my boyfriend and my parents. I don't talk about my problems much. I have social anxiety so I don't really talk to people peirod. I don't have friends and the 3 that I do have I don't talk to anymore because I feel like I'm a bother. I just have very low self esteem and I have major clinical depression which causes me to binge it. Food takes away my pain for a moment. Every time my family calls me fat I just get sad and end up eating a large amount of junk food without giving it a second thought.. I feel like I need help. I just want to be happy again. I want to be my normal weight and feel beautiful again and not like a failure. I'm tired of feeling a like piece of crap. I'm sorry I'm ranting I'm sure no body wants to hear any of my problems but I just need to let them out somewhere. I've kept my feelings hidden deep inside myself for the longest time..
@Brandynelson I want to thank you for sharing your story with us. I can easily see why you’re feeling lost and without direction. Obviously, you have a lot of grieving to work out. When economically feasible, please consider getting some counseling. I’m so so sorry you’ve had to endure so much in your short life. I have a much shorter list of woes but I found an excellent counselor to deal with a number of past issues and it helped me a lot so please consider finding someone you feel comfortable working on these issues when it’s affordable for you. You’ve mentioned that you’re having current relationship issues and counseling can really help. It’s important to get the toxic feelings out or they will interfere with relationships you have currently and in the future. Regarding your binge eating, It’s only a false salve for what ails us. Sure we feel a temporary feeling of initial relief when we start a binge but as you know it currently goes away and is replaced by self hate and guilty feelings and that’s not an acceptable solution. Do you currently maintain a food journal? Maintaining an accurate food journal is an excellent beginning. By maintaining a record of both good choices as well as bad, you can find out more about your eating habits and make changes where necessary. So many of us try to just stop binging, for some, a cold turkey approach works but for most, it just leads to a series of disappointments and disappointments are not helpful for the self esteem. If you would like to start a process that includes many small successes that ultimately lead to ending binge eating, I’m happy to help. Like I said, a journal is an excellent beginning. If you need assistance on what to enter in your journal let me know. Again, thanks for sharing your story. It’s time to open up to others to start healing. Good job!
Thank you
If you think you're a compulsive eater and would like to take the 12 steps in Overeaters Anonymous, let me know. I can help.