I just can't keep living a lie

My husband has always known that I like women and he said I could continue to see them just to not ever leave him for one. Well I have been faithful to him never seeing anyone else, but I hate having sex with him. I guess I stay for the kids (we have 3) but I feel like I married him and had the kids just to fit in. I don't even have a bond with the kids.
I can't even tell my kids yet because I feel they aren't mature enough to respond maturely. They make comments some times about the kids at school who have come out and the way they act isn't good, even though I have tried always to encourage them to be open minded so that someday I could tell them about me. But would I just embarrace them? None of my friends know either. I told my husband that because I haven't told them I feel like i'm living a lie. I really want to tell everyone. Because if you are my friend you should love me for me... right? My husband says I should be careful who I tell. I don't have many friends and I could lose what I have. I know he's just trying to protect me from getting hurt but it doesn't change the way I feel.Should I never tell. It's not fair that I should even have to feel this way.

Your are what you are and no one can ever take that away from you. You aren't doing any justice to anyone by living a lie.

Your children will always be your children and they will understand and respect you because of your honesty.

Don't wait until they grow up and find out that you betrayed them. What are you teaching them?

Your husband is only protecting himself from the embarassment if people should know. It is no ones fault.

Live your life so that others can live theirs. Good Luck!

I know just how you feel I am living a lie myself. I am married also and am bi. My wife has mental health issues eg. depression, bi polar, sad, and hates to be in public. She also has no interest in a physical relationship with me or anyone else for that matter. I have not (until recently) been unfaithful to her. Now let me state I am not trying to find another girl or man to replace her I love her but I am who I am. I have some friends that are swingers and have a time or 2 been involved with both of them. They have rekindled a spark in my life not for sex but for life and passion for life. I dont know how much longer I can sit on the couch and just exist.