I'm not very good at talking, or typing...
but, I have to get all the stuff I have bottled up off my chest...
I feel so bored with life, and if I'm not feeling nothing, than I'm hurting. And I just don't know why...
Every little thing just gets to me, for example, my girlfriend is friends with someone I dislike very much, and it makes me queasy and anxious when I think about her hanging around this person (and i could go on, but I don't want to rant over such a petty thing here...)
I've struggled with what I assume to be depression for a long time, I don't really remember a time in my life when I was really happy, even back when I was a little kid, before my mom OD'd. And, whenever it gets really bad, I feel like cutting again, and don't feel like eating or doing anything other than laying in bed and crying.
I can't talk with my family about all of this, I don't want to burden them, and we're really broke at the moment, and couldn't afford anything like counseling, or docter's appointments.
And, I don't want to burden my friends with my problems either. Guess I just needed to talk with someone(s) that I don't know in real life..
sorry if I'm taking up your time...
I'm so sorry for the way your feeling but it would be wise to talk w/a family member that you trust & that you can confide in that would help you find some relief in what your feeling within. If not then we're here to talk things through w/you if & when you feel like, ask us anything you'd like.
In reference to the friend, we can only control ourselves & not others as sometimes when one tries to convince them someone else isnt very good for them they become resentful towards you UNTIL they figure it out for themselves.....its a bummer but true.
All my strengths.
April
I think your so strong to type this and i know exactly how you are feeling. I bottled up my depression and other mental health problems for over 3 years and hoped they would go away but i eventually had to tell my mum (who i am close to) and she was so understanding and i now visit a therapist each week and a health care assistant each week , which is completley free , so maybe you could find somewhere in your area that is a free service to talk, if not there is always help out there and your not alone!
I am also struggling with cutting and it can be really hard to stop as its like a reief but it sounds like you really need to talk to someone who you trust
Hope everything works out
:)
Hey Emily,
I think you need to speak to a therapist. It's pretty evident even though you feel numb, that those feelings are bursting to come out with wanting to cut.
Please speak to one, it is so important you work through your issues as hurtful as they may be...face them...you are stronger than you think. I understand how it is, to want to hurt yourself but still have no feelings.
Please speak with a therapist.
Love to you hunny
Moongal x