I just found out I had herpes two days ago. I am only 18 years old. I wasn't supposed to get this and my life was never supposed to be this way. I was raped 3 months ago and was so ashamed I did not report it. Recently I had some blood work done and that is why my doctor told me I was sick. Ever since that call came in I can't sleep, eat, think or stop crying. This is not fair. I have never had sex before with anyone, and I was always so safe about everything. I don't want to and can't tell my parents. I slowly feel myself sinking lower and lower into grief thats never ending and consuming. I've never had a real boyfriend and now I'm never going to. I feel so disgusting and undesirable. I hate myself, this isn't fair, why is this happening to me
I'm not an expert at anything but I've lived a few more decades than you, so here goes: You have nothing to be ashamed about. I'm so sorry this has happended to you but living your life in secrecy is hurting you in more ways than you can imagine. Open the blinds and let the sunshine in. You're not the first to experience this and most folks go on to live perfectly normal lives, albeit with common sense protections when your herpes is active. By all means, tell your parents and get some therapy. Without such intervention, this event could poison future relationships. You really need to have some professional assistance. You also need some common sense counseling regarding herpes. With proper medication, your future mate will have minimal risk when exposed so please raise the blinds of secrecy and get the help and information needed. This is certainly not a death sentence as unfortunate as things seem right now.