I just found out I have lupus. When you tell your friends, you find out very quickly if they're your true friends or not. It turns out most of my friends weren't real friends and my aunt thinks I'm imagining it. Oh well, I'm glad I have therapy tomorrow. Silver lining, right?
Hi there,
I'm really sorry to hear that your friends did not react more positively and were not supportive about this. My friend who has lupus, has had a completely different response from people. For her many people have become too friendly and concerned. She does not enjoy the fact that people feel bad for her and enjoys the fact that I do not treat her differently because of her diagnosis. I never seek to pamper her, because I know she is strong, but she knows that when she needs help and support I am there for her. I've been with her through the ups and downs of lupus. I think a lot of the time people just do not really understand what lupus is, how it affects a person, to what degree and what it really means. I think that in the future when you are seeking to reveal your diagnosis to people that you are prepared to explain what it means for you, so that people can understand what it means to have lupus and how you want to be treated because of it. If you ever need to talk I am here for you.
Take care,
K.G.
Hello! I have to say I agree most people don't really know what lupus is or the severity of it. It is different in every person. My husband has lupus and you do find out who your friends are when you are going through struggling and personal times. As far as that silver lining, you have to find it each and every day with whatever positivity that comes your way.
I'm relieved. When I looked it up, it pretty much explained all the discomfort I'm in and how I can minimize the symptoms. I already ate healthy, exercised, meditated, all that. I take care of my body, but I don't know a lot of other people that do. They think lupus is a death sentence and I tried to explain it to them and said if they're still curious, they should research it online. Nobody's curious. When you don't say anything, people assume the worst and all their petty pity crap just makes me feel gross and it's very manipulative and narcissistic.
I know that you are not imagining the fact that you have lupus, I am sorry you feel like I left you in your time of need. I told you that you can contact me at any time, but you choose not to. I still want to be there for you even though we are no longer in a relationship, and never were. I still want to be your friend, if that works for you.
Please don’t post like this online, anything that goes online is public property forever. I’m not telling you to stop you from embarrassing yourself, I warn you because I feel like you’re trying to publicly shame me and that’s really going to weigh heavily on your conscience and recovery is going to become much more improbable. This is about me, just me. Nobody else matters. I’m #1 in my life.